


Doused in Moonlight

by mimirexx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Daddy!Armin, Death, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Pain, Separation and Reunion, Tears, Time Skips, Vampires, Werewolves, snk-month 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 15:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20677403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimirexx/pseuds/mimirexx
Summary: Armin was an average boy who just graduated  school. Never would he have expected that he’d meet the love of his life in such a strange but beautiful and fun way.What he couldn’t know was that, with Jean becoming an important impact in his life, everything he knew and believed in was turned upside down. A fantastically astonishing new world was revealed to the young boy, filled with creatures of fiction and pure imagination.And that new world just about collapsed above him as soon as he was confronted with it. The heaviest and most difficult decision he ever had to make was sure to follow instantly.





	Doused in Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> Alriiight, this was supposed to be part of the Jearmin-week a month ago or so but I wasn’t able to finish it in time. I’ve lost motivation so many times and was overall too busy, but I’m glad now that I’ve finally got it done! 
> 
> Now its part for the snk-month 2019, day 16 and 17: ‘Tears’ and ‘Death’ cause I think that kinda sums it up pretty well. I am so happy I managed to do something for snk-month and I hope I’ll be able to work on another thing!
> 
> I’m not a 100% content with how it is but I fear this’d stay in my notes forever if I don’t post it now, so enjoy this piece of trash ^^;
> 
> And special thanks to @snk-characters-thoughts on Tumblr for motivating me and helping me through this!! U da best! <3

Almost every night, Armin could be found nowhere but at the beach. With a book in one hand and a pen in the other, he easily spent hours sitting in the sand and writing. Poems, stories, fiction and nonfiction. There was a wide range of things he enjoyed writing, from romance to horror and science fiction, sometimes even comedy when he felt like it. 

Though, he never had the guts to actually publish something he worked on. He was a very shy and insecure person, publishing something so intimate gave him anxiety, made him feel uneasy and uncomfortable. There were a lot of notebooks stacked in the corners of his room, filled with stories and tellings he would rather keep to himself than ever letting someone see them. The only person who had access to his room was his grandfather, but he never entered his room without letting Armin know and never touched his things. Armin surely was thankful for that. 

The young boy drove into his books with passion, each stroke of his pen dripping with emotion. It was his way to deal with problems in life. Pain, loss, anger, happiness, sorrow... creating stories and characters and a whole new world and setting helped greatly to keep his sanity. It gave him something to do, an opportunity to deal with things and let go rather than keeping them dug and hidden deep inside him where they could eat their way into his psyche anytime without trouble. 

So, Armin wrote. He wrote like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes, he got carried away too much and ended in tears, sometimes he ended up ripping the pages and throwing them away, but, most of the time, he felt huge relief after placing the last point and just breathing through it. Armin was different while writing, because it was the situation he was most vulnerable in. It was the only time he let the walls he built around himself fall. He was free in that very moment. 

At the beach, this feeling only intensified. The crashing sounds of the waves were actually pretty calming for him and the breeze that blew through his hair made shivers run through his whole body. The beach, the ocean, the sunset and sunrise always have been the place the blond felt most comfortable in. The ocean was so fascinating, he couldn’t and wouldn’t get enough of it. Never. 

For some while now, he noticed that there was someone else at the beach whenever he was sitting there. The other guy looked a little older than him but he couldn’t tell much more about him since he was always sitting too far away. One day, that guy appeared out of nowhere and, ever since, he never missed a night. Sure, Armin would’ve preferred to stay alone at the beach but, one, the beach was a public place, so everyone was allowed to come and go whenever they wished, and two, feeling someone else’s presence near him- but not too near- somehow made him feel less lonely with his feelings. The guy shouldn’t be able to see everything Armin did, so it was alright for the time being. 

Until, one day, that guy approached him and took a seat next to Armin in the sand. The blond almost jumped out of his skin when that stranger sat this close to him and shut his book in a heartbeat. He clutched it tightly to himself and swallowed thickly as he very cautiously eyed the boy by his side. It was the middle of the night, so it was hard to make out any details on the boy’s face, but Armin could see he was smiling and felt just a tiny bit composed. 

“Hey.” The brunet said cooly, running a hand through his neck-long hair. “I’ve seen you here pretty often. Do you have a name or can I call you mine?” He winked while all Armin did was sitting there, frozen, overwhelmed. 

The boy swallowed the lump in his throat and stared up at this guy for long, awkward minutes. He had absolutely no idea what was going on and couldn’t tell what this guy even wanted. He was fine with him sitting far away from him, he liked the distance, but now that he suddenly came this close, Armin wasn’t sure how to react without embarrassing himself. His mouth opened and closed a few times, like a fish, almost as if about to say something, but nothing came, and he just closed it again. 

The brunet next grabbed his own shirt and tugged on it a little. “You know what this is made of?” He paused. Armin’s eyes flicked up and down, from the shirt, up to the guy’s eyes, and back down at the shirt several times. He gave him a questioning look, looked almost helpless and just overall confused. 

“Boyfriend material.” The stranger added then with a lewd smirk and Armin couldn’t but crack a little smile. A short chuckle slipped and he turned around to hide his face behind his book. “You’re ridiculous..” He muttered ever so softly, biting his bottom lip nervously. 

The tension began fading and it obviously gave this guy more confidence, and definitely was making Armin feel a little more at ease. Maybe this guy wasn’t as bad as he first thought. “Hey baby, you’re so fine you make me stutter. Wha-wha-what’s your name?“ The brunet tried it again and this time, Armin actually faced him. 

With the blush on his cheeks hidden by the night, the blond smiled timidly, “Armin.” His voice still was a little mumble, shy and reserved, yet still loud enough to be heard. 

“Armin? That’s a pretty unique name for a very unique person.” The brunet pointed out and held out his hand which Armin shook very carefully. “My name’s Jean.” The brunet pulled Armin’s hand closer and pressed a tender kiss on his knuckles which made Armin’s blush deepen. 

The blond quickly pulled his hand back to himself and hugged his book instead, staring off somewhere else so he wouldn’t awkwardly stare at Jean. Something like this never happened to him before and it was so embarrassing. He liked the attention, no question. It was just all so new to him. 

“...Nice to meet you, Jean.” The blond said, twirling his pen between his fingers to give himself something to do. 

“Oh, no. It’s a honor to meet  _ you _ , Armin. I’ve wanted to approach you for a while now but I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” Jean leaned back against his hands and gave a little grin, “If I knew it’d end with a date for me, I would’ve came here earlier.”

“D-date..?” Armin stuttered with wide eyes. This guy can’t be serious. Armin just graduated high school! And this guy looked older than him- not much but still! What would he even want to do with him? Armin was practically still a child and this guy... He didn’t know how to feel about it. 

“Yeah,” Jean confirmed, “I’d like to take you out somewhere. I’ll pay for everything, of course. Just a nice day with the two of us. How does that sound?” 

The blond swallowed again and stared down at the sand in silence. A date sounded nice, indeed, and Armin would get to do something else than sitting around for once. This Jean was a stranger, sure, but if he had wanted to do something to him, he could’ve done it weeks ago. Maybe Armin was a little naive, but maybe he also longed for some company sometimes...

After a few moments of weighing it out, Armin nodded very lightly, hiding behind his long locks. “A..alright. I think it’s alright.” Inhaling deeply, he turned his head over to face Jean, his lips curled up into a smile. 

“Great!” Jean pulled out his phone and handed it to Armin, “Here, type in your number so I can call you tomorrow and tell you where we’ll go.”

Hesitating, Armin took the phone and stared down at the display. His thumbs hovered over the numbers before lowering. “I... don’t have a phone. D-does email work..?” He glanced up at Jean, a little anxious but also somewhat embarrassed. Who didn’t have a phone these days?

“And how am I supposed to listen to your beautiful voice if I only have your email?” The brunet reached up and tucked a strand of blond hair behind Armin’s ear. “Don’t you have a landline?”

Armin nodded at that. His grandfather had a landline and he believed he wouldn’t mind if he used it once or twice. So, Armin tipped the number into the phone and carefully handed it back to him. 

“Nice. Got myself a cute boy.” He ruffled Armin’s blond, silky hair, messing it up completely, while Armin just smiled sheepishly and looked away. “I’ll call you in the morning then. I hope you’ll have some minutes to spare for me.”

“S..sure...” Armin mumbled quietly and watched Jean standing up. The brunet brushed off his clothes from the sand and held out a hand for Armin to help him standing up as well. 

“Should I walk you home?”

“N-no-!” Armin stuttered quickly before taking a deep breath and talking more calmly. He shook his head a little, “No, thank you. I can walk home alone.” 

“Alright, just be careful. Who knows what kind of people are walking around at this hour.” Jean warned, staring at around them for a moment, then smiled at him. “See you tomorrow, berry.” Pinching Armin’s bright red cheek, Jean chuckled and turned over to walk off, waving goodbye to Armin. 

Once he was out of sight, Armin hid behind his book and squealed, making sure he’d stay quiet, though. Did this really happen? He got a date! His first date ever! Never in a hundred years, he would’ve believed it’d happen- and with a handsome guy on top of it! He could explode with how excited he was and just wanted tomorrow to come already. 

The blond rushed home in a matter of only a few minutes. He got inside quietly, to not wake his grandfather, and hurried upstairs to his room. Once there, he plopped onto his bed and pressed his face in his pillow so he could continue his squealing. There was a huge smile on his lips and happiness written all over his face. He was so excited!

When Armin found he squealed enough, he grabbed his notebook and opened a random page as he began writing;

_ Cold sand under my feet _

_ Warm hands embracing my own _

_It’s a feeling I greet_

_ And I no longer feel alone _

_ My heart beats _

_ Thump thump thump _

_ My heart leaps  _

_ Thump thump thump _

_ My mind’s blowing  _

_ Surrendering to the unknowing  _

With a satisfied sigh, Armin dropped his pen and let himself fall back into his pillow. He hugged the notebook close to his chest and closed his eyes, about to drift into sleep, until suddenly the landline could be heard ringing through the whole house. 

Armin widened his eyes and immediately jumped out of bed to go and fetch the loud device. Making it just in time into the corridor, Armin picked up and held the phone up against his ear. “Hello?” He whispered a little breathlessly. 

There came a short laugh from the other side of the phone and Armin could feel his heart flutter at this sound only. “You picked up fast. I just called to be sure you didn’t play any tricks on me.”

Tricks? Armin would never dare. 

“And to make sure you made it home safely, of course.” Jean added. 

The blond was grinning like a dork and began nodding his head in response. When he noticed Jean couldn’t see him through the phone, Armin decided to speak up. “Yeah... I was about to get ready to sleep.”

“Right. It’s already late.” He chuckled through the phone, “Gotta hang up then. I’ll call you tomorrow, berry. Sleep well.”

Armin barely muttered a “you too” before lowering the phone and staring down at it. His lips curled up into a bright smile and the blond quickly retreated into his room again. It was the first time someone ever asked Armin out and he was so excited and happy about it. Jean seemed like a good and nice person, he was really kind and looked really,  _ really _ good. He did look older than him, true, but it couldn’t be more than a few years and Armin was fine with that. 

As morning rolled around, Armin was already up on his feet. He cooked breakfast for his grandfather and himself and spent the rest of the morning finding the right outfit for his..  _ date _ . He got his whole wardrobe out and on the floor, his clothes spread over the ground and bed and chair- everywhere. 

Armin was lost. He didn’t have any clothes to wear on a date! And as if that wasn’t enough already, he could hear the phone ringing and got even more nervous than he already was. In only his underwear and his pants halfway up, Armin hurried downstairs and picked up the phone before his grandfather could. “H-hello?” He said breathlessly. 

“Damn, you’re that eager to talk to me?” Jean joked. 

“Wh-wha-? N-no- I mean yes- I me-mean- I just- I w-was-“ Armin just stuttered in response, not even knowing what to explain or say. He just shut himself up once it got too much. 

But Jean just laughed warmly and spoke with calmness in his voice. “It’s okay, calm down. Where can I pick you up?” 

“H-huh? You’re already...” He pressed his lips together tightly. Armin definitely didn’t want to destroy his own date. “I mean, we can meet at the library, if that’s okay.”

“Sure, that’s cool. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

After they hung up, Armin was about to run back upstairs but saw his grandfather standing in front of him and looking at him with confusion. “Are you in a hurry?” The old man asked. 

“Yeah- I am. I’m meeting up with a friend and I’m already late. I’ll get dressed and go.” And just like that, Armin rushed upstairs where he threw on the first shirt he found and pulled up his pants. He skipped back downstairs and slipped into his shoes. 

It went all so quick and Armin didn’t feel prepared at all but what was he supposed to do? What if Jean would be annoyed with waiting for him to choose his clothes? He wouldn’t want to make him wait. 

“Bye, grandpa!” The blond called out loud enough to be heard, “I’ll be back later!” Opening the door, Armin got out and let out a long breath after he checked his watch. He would make it in time to the library if he hurried enough. So, Armin didn’t waste a second and already was on his way. As he walked, he tied his hair into a small ponytail since it was getting too much into his way and it looked too messy anyway.

Some while later, Armin finally made it to the library and looked around everywhere to find Jean. He was short and couldn’t look over the people, all he could do was walking through them to check around the building. He made it to the other side of the library without finding Jean anywhere and looked a little disheartened. What if Jean didn’t really mean it, after all?

No. Armin didn’t believe it. Jean was so kind, he wouldn’t just call Armin to embarrass him. Instead of leaving, the blond walked the way back to the other side of the library again, walking slower this time so he could look around more cautiously. 

And then he spotted him: Jean, standing at a book aisle and looking through book covers. The boy sighed with relief and shyly walked over, reaching up to very lightly tap his shoulder. “...Jean.” He spoke ever so softly, making the brunet turn around to face him. 

“There you are. I wanted to call you but since you don’t have a phone, that wasn’t possible.“ He chuckled and Armin could feel his strong, warm arms embracing him. Without a second thought, he leaned into the gesture and returned it gladly with his head resting on Jean’s muscular chest. 

“I’m sorry I’m late.” He murmured and closed his eyes, really just enjoying the feeling of being hugged like that. It wasn’t often people hugged him, but it definitely was something he could get used to. 

The hug soon broke and Armin stood there quietly while having Jean’s eyes on him. He felt a little nervous and exposed, more so when Jean touched his hair. “I like your hair this way.” His fingers grabbed his chin and lifted Armin’s face, making the blond blush. 

His gaze next moved to the shirt Armin wore, and when Jean began chuckling, Armin looked somewhat scared. “That’s a very... nice shirt you have, Armin.” He managed to say between laughter. 

The blond looked so confused and glanced down at his shirt. And once he saw which shirt he was wearing, all color drained from his face. Out of all shirts he could’ve grabbed... it had to be [that](https://m.imgur.com/MTWXSLu) one? That stupid one Eren and Mikasa got him on his birthday last year with the most stupid math pun he ever heard? And that on Armin’s first date? This was so embarrassing. 

“God... Please let me die...” Armin muttered to himself and folded both arms over his chest and stomach in attempts to hide what was written on it as well as that stupid coordinate system on it. He took a small step back and looked aside while Jean just kept laughing. 

“Where did you even get that from? That’s hilarious!” 

Armin could feel himself shrink smaller with every second that passed, could feel tears pricking in his eyes, could sense everyone around him turning around to stare at him. This wasn’t a good idea. Coming here, having this date, it was wrong. So wrong. 

Before he could embarrass himself even more, Armin turned around and quickly ran off. Anywhere- just anywhere that wasn’t this library between all these people. The first thing coming in his sight were the bathroom signs, so Armin ran there at full speed. 

More people began laughing at this point and the tears that dared to escape dripped down his face. 

“Armin, wait!” He could hear Jean calling out but the blond just stormed into the bathrooms and locked himself behind one of the toilet doors. Once in safety, he sat on the lid of the toilet with his knees drawn up against his chest and his hands in front of his face. It started with small sobs, and Armin honestly tried to keep it that way, but sometimes he hiccuped and whimpered a little louder than he should. Though, he really didn’t care. This was the worst way his date could ever go. 

Everything could’ve been just fine if Armin paid more attention to what he put on in his hurry. Jean was older than him, he was mature and an adult, and surely wouldn’t want to deal with an emotionally unstable teenager who can’t even do a single thing right. Armin felt ridiculous, like a joke- like that stupid pun on his shirt. 

Jean was so kind and so nice the night before and now he laughed at him. This was a huge mistake and Armin learned the hard way. He trusted a stranger too fast and now he tripped on his very own mistake. He definitely wouldn’t want to repeat that. 

Armin pulled his hands away from his tear streaked face and looked around himself frantically- he didn’t take his notebook with him! What was he supposed to do now?! He hiccuped and gasped a few times as he looked around for something to write with but, unfortunately for him, there was nothing. There wasn’t even toilet paper left. He began panicking. 

Hugging his legs closer, Armin shut his eyes tightly, clenching his jaw. He felt awful and just terrible since he couldn’t even blame Jean for laughing at him. He should’ve thrown that shirt away when he had the chance to... although he actually didn’t think it was that bad to make so many people laugh at him. He was so wrong. 

And now he was locked in a bathroom and couldn’t even write anything down. All the things going through his head, all the things pounding and throbbing inside him, yet he was unable to do anything about it. The only thing that would’ve helped him was out of reach, so all Armin could do now was crying himself into misery. 

It was stupid to even think someone like Jean would really like someone like him. They were worlds apart. It just.. wasn’t meant to be. And Armin just now realized that. 

“Armin?” Someone called from the other side of the door, knocking very lightly. “C’mon, open the door. I didn’t mean to laugh.” 

Armin, though, only curled up more and pressed his face against his legs. He didn’t answer and bit his lip so he wouldn’t let out any sounds that could let Jean know he was crying- but it pretty much was obvious anyway. 

“I’m really sorry, Armin. I shouldn’t have laughed. I really didn’t want to sound mean.” Jean said, “I’m such an ass, I know. But I really don’t want our date to end like that.”

Armin hesitantly glanced up at the door while Jean spoke, his hand rubbing one of his eyes. 

“Alright... here, I’ll wait outside. Please come out...” 

Armin looked up at the top of the door and could see that Jean hung his jacket over it. Then he could hear a door closing and assumed it must’ve been Jean who left. 

The blond remained on the toilet seat for a long while and just stared up at the jacket. He did stop crying at some point and, after some while of thinking about it, he reached out for the jacket Jean left and pulled it close to himself. Sniffling softly, Armin stared down at the piece of clothing and clenched it in his hands. He closed his eyes and leaned down to nuzzle his face against the soft fabric. 

Was it a good idea? Probably not. Armin should just go back home. But Armin wanted to believe that Jean really didn’t mean it, wanted to believe that it was all just a big misunderstanding. Wanted to believe that someone might really like him. 

Jean’s scent, still on the jacket, helped the blond to calm his nerves and very slowly get a grip of himself again. It took longer than when he’d write his thoughts down, but Armin had the same, secure feeling and it was that which mattered. 

A bunch of minutes passed like that in utter silence before Armin gained some courage and slid off of the toilet. He slipped into the jacket with ease, pulling each arm through the long sleeves and zipping it all the way up. The jacket was huge- Jean was really tall, after all. It almost reached the middle of his thighs, the sleeves so long that Armin had to fold them several times until he was able to see his hands again. Being in such a floppy and big jacket was a huge comfort place for Armin, made him feel a little safer and just a little bit more at ease. 

Now that he felt ready in the jacket, Armin carefully opened the door and peeked his head out first to make sure he was alone before actually stepping out. He approached the sink and looked at himself in the mirror; he looked awful. His eyes were swollen and puffy and red, making it more obvious how hard he cried. So, the boy turned on the tap and used the cold water to wash his face, splashing himself many times since the cold water was relaxing. 

When Armin finally felt ready to leave the bathroom, he inhaled deeply and very slowly walked out, his gaze staying glued on the ground, his face hidden behind his now open hair. It was one of these moments he thanked his grandfather for making him grow his hair out like that. It was perfect for hiding without making it clear he wanted to do that. 

“Armin.” Jean breathed and wrapped his arms around the boy who was almost melting in his embrace. He needed this more than he’d like to admit. “Thank you for coming out. I seriously thought I messed it up.” He muttered. 

Armin had his eyes closed, his face pressing against Jean as he relaxed even further and let his worries fade away. His arms, his scent, the way he bent down to be able to whisper into his ear... Armin longed for all this. 

He clung onto the back of Jean’s shirt to pull him a bit closer and keep him in place for some longer. His heart was still racing, but it gradually slowed down and soon returned to a normal pace. 

“I’m really sorry for acting like a jerk. I don’t deserve an angel like you.” Jean spoke as Armin very lightly shook his head at him. 

“It’s okay...” The blond whispered weakly, “It was a stupid birthday present. Just.. forget about that shirt.”

“Already did.” Jean answered rather quickly and pressed a decent but long kiss on Armin’s cheek. In response, Armin blushed and only hid more against Jean, holding him tighter. “By the way, you look great with my jacket. I like what I see.”

The blond hid a little smile and only nodded in response. Jean broke the hug, so Armin pulled his hands back too. 

But then he suddenly was lifted and instinctively wrapped his legs around Jean’s torso and his arms around his neck to not fall. “A-ahh-!” He squeaked in surprise, eyes wide like a deer’s in the headlights. The blush on his face deepened, more so when Jean began walking around with him like that. Out of embarrassment, Armin quickly hid his face in Jean’s neck and squeezed his eyes shut. “Y-You don’t have to c-carry me...”

Jean just smiled warmly, his lips pressing against Armin’s cheek again. “But I want to. Let’s go where I wanted to take you, alright?”

Giving a very small nod, Armin let himself be carried while he hugged Jean close to himself. Jean was so warm, almost like a heater. And he was so tall. He instantly made Armin feel protected from all the bad around him, made him feel shielded and taken care of. 

Sure, Jean laughed at him and made him feel terrible, but Jean also was the one who helped him afterwards and treated him with nothing but care and caution. Despite what happened, Armin wanted to stay by his side and see what that date would bring him. He could still leave if this turned out to be a terrible idea at the end of the day, so Armin wanted to give Jean a chance. He apologized and saw his fault, so it was alright. 

“You’re so warm...” Armin whispered, nuzzling his face into the crook of Jean’s neck. “So warm..” He repeated, taking in all the warmth he could get. It was only autumn yet, so it wasn’t very cold outside, but Armin always liked the warmth. He disliked the winter because it was so cold outside and always stayed inside where he could hide under the blanket with a hot cup of tea or cocoa. Jean was like his personal blanket that even hugged him back and it was an amazing feeling. 

The brunet chuckled and snuggled Armin in return who let out a satisfied sigh. “I hear that often.” He hummed. 

Before Armin knew it himself, they entered a building and the blond was set onto his feet again. “Hm? It’s barely been a few minutes, how did we get here this fast?”

“That must be your imagination.” Jean shrugged, “Anyway. Pick a movie, I’ll go and get some snacks. Pick a good one, berry.” 

Armin looked away embarrassedly, noticing how this wasn’t the first time Jean called him by this ‘nickname’. Though, he couldn’t say he didn’t like it. It was nice. Made him feel special. 

While Jean was gone, Armin scanned through the movie list in thought. Horror was out of question- he wouldn’t want to piss his pants. Action was boring and he already saw all the comedy movies. The only thing left were the two romance movies and a science fiction one. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, Armin was a big fan of the romance genre. As long as it wasn’t too soppy, these movies were actually nice. People falling in love, what could there be more beautiful?

Romance isn’t always lovey dovey either. He had seen a bunch of them that had really good plots and a built out story that weren’t just two people falling in love and living happily ever after. There was conflict and trouble and tension. Love wasn’t always the only main plot. 

Once Armin made his choice, he looked over to where Jean was getting their snacks and walked over to him. 

“Did you choose one you think is good?”

The blond nodded and pointed over at the big movie poster. “That one.”

Jean eyed the poster as a sly smirk played on his lips. “I see.” Was all he said and he handed Armin his popcorn and soda before leading him over to the cashier. He bought two tickets for them and just a few minutes later, they were already sitting on their seats in the hall. 

The blond drank some of his soda and looked around as he watched people walking in and taking a seat as well. It didn’t take long and Armin could already feel Jean’s arm around him. He blinked up at him and smiled as he shuffled a little closer and leaned his head against his shoulder. 

“I like the cinema. I don’t come here very often, but I like the atmosphere.” Armin pointed out. 

“I think so too. Maybe I should ta-“ 

Before Jean could finish his sentence, there was someone gasping Armin’s name loudly. Already knowing who it was, Armin quickly turned around and smiled. “Eren!” He got up and placed his popcorn on his seat so he could go and hug his friend. 

“I thought you’d go to your father for two weeks? Why are you still here?” The blond asked confusedly as Eren just flicked his wrist dismissively. “Didn’t feel like it. Mom needs my help here anyway.”

Eren’s gaze fell on Jean and, as they exchanged looks, Armin looked back at him too and blushed. “A-ah.. Jean, this is Eren, my best friend. Eren, this is Jean, my...” His what? They weren’t together yet, were in the middle of their date. Armin wasn’t sure what Jean was yet. 

“Your boyfriend?” Eren finished, sounding more surprised and disappointed than Armin would’ve expected. 

“A-ahm.. No… I-I mean... it’s... I-I’m not sure...” He stuttered, scratching his hair nervously. 

“You’re wearing his jacket, you’re in the cinema together, he’s holding you. That looks pretty obvious to me.”

“W-we met just yesterday a-and-“ He paused, pressing his lips together. 

“I asked him out on a date, is there a problem with that?” Jean deadpanned, standing up as well to stand next to Armin with his arms folded over his chest. 

“Well, yeah, there is.” Eren frowned, “Armin doesn’t go out with old people, certainly not if they look like a horse.” 

“What did you call me, bastard?” Jean growled, his eyes flashing dangerously. 

“You heard me, asshole.” Eren snapped as they both took a step closer to each other and just about grabbed each other’s collars. 

“God, it’s like watching third graders fight.” The blonde girl behind Eren complained and walked off without losing another word. 

Armin swallowed and carefully stood between the two, pushing them apart and looking at them both. “G-guys... please...” Armin pleaded, looking at Eren, “I’ll call you later, okay..?”

The brunet scoffed and glared up at Jean. His height didn’t seem to intimidate him at all. “Sure.” He said, not breaking eye contact with Jean. “And you better make sure you don’t do anything you could regret, horse face. I’m keeping my eyes on you.” And after another long glare, Eren walked off to go and find his girlfriend. 

Once he was gone, Armin let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and rubbed his face. “I’m sorry... Eren can be pretty protective sometimes.”

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault, Armin.” The brunet spoke assuringly and reached out to ruffle Armin’s fluffy hair, making the blond look up. He gave Jean a little smile and nodded as he walked back to take a seat again. Jean followed him and wrapped his arm around Armin again as soon as they sat. 

This time, Armin actually hesitated for just a moment before eventually leaning against Jean again when the movie finally started. He relaxed and munched on some popcorn as his eyes stayed fixed on the big screen. 

By the time the movie reached its half, the two protagonists finally shared their first heated kiss. It made Armin smile but when his gaze fell on the people around them, he could see everyone began kissing their dates. He began feeling a little awkward and fiddled around with the end of his sleeve until the kissing scene would be over. To his dismay, it kept going for a while, got wilder and more passionate with each second. 

When Jean tilted his head up, Armin widened his eyes and stared up at him as his warm palm cupped his cheek tenderly. “If everyone’s doing it,” The brunet whispered, leaning closer to brush their lips together briefly. Armin was red like a tomato and let out a gasp at the feeling of Jean’s lips on his own. It was just a brief moment but enough for Armin to want more. 

“Can I too?” Jean finished his question and leaned a little closer to the blond who stared between Jean’s beautiful amber colored eyes and his lips. Giving a very shy nod, Armin closed his eyes and leaned a bit closer as well. 

As soon as their lips touched, Armin sucked in a breath and held it for a good moment. Feeling Jean’s soft lips and his hand on his cheek were driving him wild. His heart was racing like crazy against his chest, pumping him with adrenaline. His arms quickly came up and wrapped around Jean’s neck to pull him even closer while the kiss lasted for what felt like forever.

The longer the kiss took, the faster Armin relaxed again and just let it all happen. It felt like the right thing to do- Jean was the right person to do it with. It was his first real, emotional kiss and Armin loved every second of it. The way their lips moved against each other, the way Jean’s hand stroked and caressed his cheek, the way they made these small, little breaks every once in a while to take a breath and continue. Not too much, not too less. It was perfect.

But even this perfect kiss had to end at some point. The two pulled apart from each other slowly as Armin’s gaze immediately lowered, too flustered to look Jean in the eye. His arms stayed around him nonetheless and he used that to pull him into a hug. 

Hugging over the chairs was a little uncomfortable, and Armin hadn’t intended to stay like that for very long, but then Jean pulled him over and the blond found himself on his lap. He looked very surprised at first, however, not even a minute later, Armin was snuggled against his chest, his head pressing against the spot Jean’s heart was. He was so calm and Armin wished he could learn how to not always get so embarrassed. Jean must’ve had a lot of experiences already. 

“Does that officially make me your boyfriend now or what?” Jean whispered ever so softly, playing with the blond strands of hair. “Cause I’d love to, just so you know.”

While Armin was looking at the big screen again, he couldn’t but grin to himself. His boyfriend? Jean? Hell, yes. There was absolutely no way Armin would ever say no to that. On the other hand, Armin didn’t dare to speak up either and instead just began nodding fast to let Jean know he agreed with him. 

Armin nonetheless felt the need to say it and gained all the courage he had to open his mouth, his voice small and frail like glass. “Yeah. I’d like that too...” 

With a hum, Jean leaned back and rubbed Armin’s back with one hand while the blond nuzzled his head against his chest and watched the rest of the movie in a comfortable silence. The only thing that happened during the last part of the movie was Jean peppering small kisses on his forehead whenever someone in the movie kissed. Armin could’ve melted at each one. 

The movie eventually ended and people were starting to leave the cinema. The blond carefully slid off of Jean’s lap and straightened his clothes at first, then tried to take care of his hair and somehow get it back into shape. 

“Wait.” Jean said when he stood up as well and took the tie from Armin’s wrist. He used it to tie Armin’s hair back into a ponytail, leaving only his bangs covering his forehead. “You look cute with your hair up. You should keep it that way.” He finished tying his hair and grabbed Armin’s hand afterwards. 

The blond just smiled and walked out with Jean as they were holding hands. He walked close to him, looking around only briefly before they made it outside. Eren couldn’t be seen anywhere and Armin was a little glad about it since it’d spare them more arguing. But he’d still make sure to call him as soon as he was home to explain his situation to him. 

“Do you drink coffee?” Jean asked out of nowhere, making Armin stare up at him. Coffee was disgusting. It was bitter and the taste was just... not his liking. But he didn’t want to look like a baby next to Jean, so he just nodded and looked back at the front, giving a small “yeah”.

“Are you sure?” Jean asked. 

The blond quickly nodded and squeezed his hand, “Of course. I love coffee.” He lied through his teeth. 

With a short hum, Jean lead them into a nearby cafe and brought them over to an empty table. They both took a seat and Jean ordered two cups of coffee for them. It didn’t take long for their order to arrive, and Armin stared down at the cup quietly. He swallowed and glanced up at Jean who just smiled at him. The brunet was already sipping on his coffee, so Armin thought he had to too and carefully lifted the cup. 

Hesitantly, he brought it closer to his lips and took a very small sip, doing his absolute best to not move any muscle in his face. It tasted like sand. Bitter, tasteless, disgusting sand. But the blond managed to swallow it and placed the cup down again, his brow twitching ever so slightly. “T-tastes good..” He commented. 

Jean tilted his head, then bursted out in laughter. “Doesn’t look like it, berry.” 

Armin blinked quietly when Jean laughed and quickly looked away from him, not saying anything since he already saw through his lie. It was embarrassing, but not even Armin could hide a little smile. “It sucks...” He mumbled under his breath. 

“You should’ve just told me, silly. You wanna have something else instead? Tea? Or rather cocoa?” Jean suggested which Armin immediately nodded at. That sounded a lot better. Sweet, tasty cocoa. He pushed the coffee away from himself and looked around the shop a little while Jean called for a worker to order the drink. 

“By the way..” Armin mumbled, playing with the sleeve of the jacket he wore, “Maybe that sounds like an odd question but.. how old are you? We barely know anything about each other, you know...”

“Hm? Oh.” The brunet smiled and reached for Armin’s hand. “Well. I’m 19, I’m working at a bar midtown, I’ve got a motorcycle, I live alone with my dog, and... yeah.”

The blond looked surprised to hear Jean was only two years older than him-  _ how _ ?? He looked older than that, though, Armin wasn’t going to mention it since he didn’t find it very appropriate. “Your dog..?” He repeated to put the focus on something else, chewing on his lower lip. “Is it a big one....?”

“Yeah, kinda. It’s a German Shepherd. He’s just four years old, though.” He told him, rubbing his thumb over Armin’s hand comfortingly. “But you don’t need to be scared of him, really. He’s a good boy and loves people.” 

“M-mhm..” Was the only response coming from Armin as he stared down at Jean’s hand holding his own. Dogs generally didn’t like Armin very much, so he wasn’t sure what to think of it. As long as he didn’t get too close to dogs, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. 

“C’mon. My dog is really cute and he’ll love you, I’m sure of it. There’s no need to be scared of big animals, I promise.” 

The blond sighed softly and nodded again as he held Jean’s hand a little tighter. “I believe you... but I don’t like big dogs- o-or big animals in general.”

“Mhh.. How about you meet him and decide afterwards? I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to be scared of my dog. That’d make a few things difficult.” Jean kept rubbing his hand very tenderly, “Alright? You’ll get used to it when you start seeing him more often. And if not, you won’t have to see him. Sounds like a plan?”

Armin was very hesitant. He really was scared of big animals and wasn’t sure if Jean’s dog would be an exception or not. He helped him feel a little more convinced for sure, but Armin still wasn’t 100% sure. “...We’ll see.” Maybe he’d give the dog a chance one day but he’d have to prepare himself for it beforehand. 

“Great.” Jean rested his head into his palm, looking at Armin with a grin. “Your turn.”

“Uh..” The blond looked around briefly, not sure what to say about himself, so he just started from the first thing that came to his mind. “I’m 17.. I graduated two weeks ago, so now I’m looking for a college to go to. I’m living with my grandfather... I like writing...” He thought out loud and paused, trying to think of more things. 

Before he could continue, though, Jean spoke quickly, “So you do write! I’ve always seen you with that notebook and first thought it was a diary. I’m glad to hear it’s not!”

At that point, Armin’s drink came and the blond took the cup and drank some of it, mainly to avoid Jean’s expectant gaze. 

“Could I read some of your works some time?”

Armin choked on the cocoa and began coughing, turning away from Jean who patted his back. He wanted to read what he was writing? Armin never showed it to anyone and, actually, wasn’t planning to change that either. 

Jean was practically still a stranger although Armin felt like they were knowing each other much more than that. Still, he didn’t even let Eren read anything. He couldn’t do that- wouldn’t feel comfortable with this at all. 

He regained his composure slowly and took a few deep breaths to calm down. 

“I take that as a ‘no’..?”

The blond shook his head very lightly, looking away so he wouldn’t have to see the disappointment in Jean’s face, “I-I don’t feel comfortable with people reading it... sorry.”

“That’s fine, Armin.” The brunet scooted his chair closer so he could wrap an arm around Armin and kissed his cheek. “It wasn’t right to ask you for it. I respect your privacy, so don’t worry.” 

Armin relaxed at this and snuggled a little closer into Jean’s warmth. They spent the rest of the day in that cafe, killing the time with small talk or stories about themselves and a few more cuddles. The more time they spend together, the more Armin felt comfortable around Jean. He learned a lot about him and had to admit, Jean was a very interesting person. 

At the end of the day, Jean brought Armin home. They walked hand-in-hand and close to each other, bathed by the moonlight. The sky was cloudy but the moon still gleamed through enough to be seen and felt. It almost was as if the moon gave them energy, fueled them up. Armin liked that a lot. 

Once they made it to Armin’s house, they both stood at the doorway while Jean held both of Armin’s hands in his own and gazed down at the blond. 

“You’re so beautiful.”

Armin was caught off guard by Jean’s compliment which made his cheeks burn with embarrassment. He quickly broke the eye contact and squeezed his boyfriend’s hands. 

“No, look at me. I want to see you.” Jean lifted his chin with his finger, “C’mon, please. Show me your smile.”

Armin pressed his lips together, shutting his eyes. He wasn’t used to that much attention, so had to take a while to get used to it. Cracking open one eye, he could see Jean’s gaze on him and the smile dancing on his lips. They were barely a few inches apart and it made his heart race with anticipation. 

“C’mon, berry. It’s just me.” The softness with which Jean said these words gave him a warm feeling- it really just was  _ him _ . 

Feeling more comfortable now, Armin looked back into Jean’s beautiful eyes, his face relaxing and his lips forming a smile. In Jean’s eyes, Armin felt secure and protected. 

“There we are.” Jean chuckled and pecked his cheek before Armin stepped closer to wrap his arms around the taller male for a hug. His eyes closed while his back was rubbed and he let out a soft, small noise. 

A few minutes later, they broke the hug and, without losing a word, pulled each other into a long and passionate kiss. Armin was still a little insecure about kissing, considering he had never done that before, but his movements came naturally with Jean taking the lead. Their lips molded together perfectly- maybe not perfectly, but there was no way Armin would complain. The kiss felt amazing in every way. 

Jean’s large hand came up to hold Armin’s face, the other one resting against his back and pushing him closer. The blond clutched at Jean’s shirt, gripping the material tightly while tiptoeing to get more of the kiss. Jean was already bending down but Armin wanted to make it a little easier for him. 

It was when Jean parted his lips and tried to slide his tongue into Armin’s mouth that Armin pulled away with a gasp. He was panting, gawking at Jean with wide eyes. 

“I’m-“ They both said at the same time, then fell quiet for a moment. Armin looked down and slightly loosened his grip before he was suddenly hugged tighter and blinked in silence. 

“I’m sorry, I was just trying it out. But if you’re not ready for it, I understand.” The brunet murmured near Armin’s ear, “I couldn’t hold myself back from trying…” He added with a short chuckle. 

Armin hesitated but soon wrapped his arms around his neck to return the hug, shaking his head. “I just… never did this before. I don’t want to.. disappoint you…” The last words were a mere whisper, making the blond tighten his hug. 

Jean pressed a kiss on his cheek, pulled back and cupped the boy’s face gingerly. “You could never disappoint me. We’ll take it slow, no big deal. As long as you’re happy.”

Armin smiled a little at his words and nodded as he leaned into Jean’s touch. “Thank you…” 

Standing there for a few more moments in silence, Armin soon reached up and slowly pulled Jean’s hands down. “I should go inside. Today was nice.. Thanks a lot.”

“If you think today was nice, you will love what comes next time.”

“...Huh? What do you mean?”

“I mean our next date. Do you really think this was the only one? There will be many more, as many as it takes to get married to you one day, berry.”

Armin blushed again- how could Jean talk about marriage as if it’s no big deal at all?! 

“I-I see.” He muttered, closing his eyes at the kiss on his forehead. 

“But for now, I’ll let you go home. I’ll see what to do tomorrow and call you, alright?”

Armin just nodded, and so Jean finally let go of him and took a few steps back. “Great, see you then-“

“Wait!” Armin quickly began fiddling with the zipper of the jacket he wore, which just wouldn’t work for some reason. “Y-your jacket- I don’t want you to-“

“Keep it,” Jean insisted rather quickly, “I want you to have it. Have a good night.” He smiled and Armin stopped trying to take the jacket off. They both smiled at each other and, with a last wave, both went their way. 

The blond got inside, changed his clothes and plopped into his bed. His grandfather was already sleeping, so it was a fast process. As he curled up in his blanket, he spotted the landline on his nightstand with a small note on it. 

_ Eren called, it seemed important. He wants you to call him back soon.  _

Armin lifted the phone then and dialed Eren’s number. It already was late but if it was important and Eren was still awake, he saw no reason not to call. 

Waiting a couple of moments, the other end of the phone finally was answered with a soft “hello?”. 

“Hey, Eren. How are you?”

“ ‘M fine. What ‘bout you?”

“I’m good.” 

There was a short pause. 

“So.. when did you plan to tell me about this ‘Jean’ guy?”

“I… We met just yesterday. I didn’t even think he meant it when he said he wanted to take me out, you know..? But he’s really kind.”

“So you just agreed?” Eren questioned in disbelief, “Armin, you don’t even know this guy. He could be a criminal, for all you know! You don’t know anything about him, how did you agree to go out with a stranger?”

“E-Eren, I-“

“You’re smarter than that. You know what kind of people walk around there- how would you know he won’t hurt you? How would you know he’s not a monster?”

“...You’re exaggerating a bit, don’t you think?”

“No. No, I don’t think so. You know shit about him. Where did you even meet?”

Armin was quiet for a moment to swallow before muttering very carefully, “At the… beach.”

“At the beach,” Eren deadpanned, “At night, I suppose?”

“...Well, yeah, but-“

“Seriously? And you’re asking yourself what makes me so mad?”

Armin didn’t know what to say. 

“Listen. It’s not that I don’t want you to have a boyfriend. I just don’t want you to get yourself in trouble because someone was ‘kind’ to you. I care about you, a lot, so I want you to be careful.”

“I know… I appreciate that a lot, Eren. But… I don’t think someone like Jean could be a criminal or a ‘monster’, whatever you mean with that. I think he really likes me… And I think I like him too… Aren’t you happy I found someone to be with..?”

Eren sighed, “Of course I’m happy for you. I really am and I honestly wish you all the best on earth. But you just… promise me to be careful, okay? And if he ever hurts you or touches you the wrong way, I’ll rip his head off, I can assure you. Don’t trust people you don’t know too easily. Okay? Take it slow and, for the love of God, be careful.”

Out of all people, Eren had to be the one to emphasize ‘careful’ so much? How ironic. 

“I will, I promise.” Armin smiled, “I’m really happy with him, Eren. I never thought that’d happen to me.”

“Moron. You’re an awesome person. You’re caring and loving and good looking. Any guy would be stupid to not fall in love with you.”

The blond laughed softly, “That’s very nice of you. Thank you so much for understanding me. You’re the bestest best friend in the whole world!”

“I know.” Eren laughed too, “Well, we’ll talk another time. I think I woke mom up.”

“Oh.” Armin totally forgot it was night- his grandfather was sleeping too. “Right. We should hang up. Goodnight, Eren.”

“Goodnight.” 

Armin hang up and exhaled. He understood what Eren meant and how Eren thought but Jean wasn’t like that- if he was a criminal, he could’ve killed or hurt him weeks ago. What would be the point of being his boyfriend? 

And monster? Eren was thinking too much into this. Jean was so loving and romantic and handsome and caring… there was no way he could be a monster of any sort. Jean already stole his heart and Armin was so weak for him. That really could turn into something serious, he was optimistic for the future. 

The next day, Jean kept his promise; he took Armin on a second, a third, a fourth date. It was vacation, so Armin didn’t need to stress out about school or exams or anything else and could just enjoy the time he and Jean could spend together. 

A few weeks later, Armin already was a student of biology and physics at the college and, although being more busy again, he and Jean still managed to spend plenty of time together. Sometimes they met outside, sometimes sat in the park or just took a walk. And when Armin had trouble with sleeping or was feeling lonely in his room at college, Jean would sneak in and come over for them to cuddle and talk and do whatever helped Armin to feel strong enough for the next day again. It was no exaggeration to say Jean was his full support in bad as well as in good times. 

By the time Armin entered college, Jean bought him a phone so they could talk together in case Jean couldn’t make it over for some reason. Armin even explored the videochat function and used that almost all the time to get to see his boyfriend as often as even possible. It was amazing, he was so fascinated by it. 

At the weekends, Armin would wither meet up with Eren or go over to Jean’s place and sleep over. It took him weeks and a lot of convincing until Armin finally overcame his fear of dogs and agreed to have the animal walk around as he pleased instead of being locked up in a room. Just like Jean said, his dog, Dexter, was very calm and well behaved and barely ever barked if he didn’t have a reason to do so. Not to mention that the dog wasn’t as big as Armin expected- which was good. 

Unfortunately for him, Jean was somewhere on the other end of the country for about two weeks. Said he was visiting his family there and that he wouldn’t be able to talk as much. Of course, Armin understood why, but he still wanted his boyfriend back. While Jean wasn’t with him most of the time, Armin used that to meet up more often with Eren and Mikasa and catch up on the time and things they’ve missed together. It was good to spend more time with them again but he still was missing Jean badly. He wanted him to be back already. 

One day, after it already got night and Armin couldn’t sleep because he yearned to see his boyfriend too badly, the boy dialed Jean’s number to call him and held the phone against his ear. 

“Hello?” The phone was answered and Armin instinctively began smiling.

“Hey, babe…” He whispered, keeping his voice low in case others were already sleeping. 

Jean chuckled, “How long do you have a phone now? You’ve been calling me more often than my mother.”

“Oh? I’ll just hang up then, I guess.” Armin teased and rolled around in his bed, hugging his pillow. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” Jean countered- which was 100% true, “Anyway, I guess I’ll just give my present someone else then.”

Armin blinked a few times and squeezed the pillow closer to himself. “...You’ve got a present for me?”

How sweet was that? Jean often got him little gifts here and there, and it made Armin’s heart melt every time. 

“Yeah, but you wanna hang up so I guess I’ll just-“

“No-! I was joking…” He murmured, hearing Jean laughing. 

“I know, don’t worry, berry. I’m just on my way to you, anything you want me to get on my way?”

“You’re... on your way? You’re coming back? Now?” It was a pleasant surprise and Armin never had been happier to call Jean. “For real?” He was so excited. 

“Yeah, almost there. You destroyed your own surprise, though.” Jean chuckled, “Want me to get something on the way?”

“Mh… Are you wearing a jacket?”

“Of course I am.”

Armin smiled, “Then I don’t need anything else. Just wanna finally cuddle...” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Jean said, “I’ll be there in two minutes. See you.”

After they hung up, Armin nuzzled his pillow to distract himself until Jean would replace the soft fabric. It was warm underneath the blanket but he really would rather cuddle with Jean. His body was always so warm and cuddling him was soothing and relaxing for the blond. 

It literally only took two minutes until Armin already could hear a gentle knock on his door and he jumped out of bed to go and open it. Seeing that it was Jean, Armin pulled him in and closed the door again quickly. Visitors after eight weren’t allowed in the college, so to not get into trouble, Armin made sure nobody saw or heard them. 

“Hey, berry. Are you alright?” Jean mumbled as his arms wrapped around the smaller boy and embraced him. The blond leaned against him with no trace of hesitation and closed his eyes calmly. 

“Yeah… now I am.” Armin nuzzled Jean’s chest, taking in his scent and warmth greedily. He didn’t get to see Jean for almost two weeks- he surely missed him a lot. 

“Well, then. Do I get a kiss now or what?” The brunet chuckled and reached down to cup Armin’s chin with two fingers and lift his face. Armin chuckled playfully and closed his eyes as he tiptoed to reach his boyfriend better. 

Their lips met halfway while, at the same time, Armin raised his arms to hook them loosely around Jean’s neck. It made kissing his tall boyfriend a little easier, not to mention how the feeling of Jean’s big hands on his slim waist made things even more exciting and thrilling, sent shivers of pleasure down his spine. 

His heart was racing like crazy, the way it always did when they kissed for so long and this passionate. There was no way he would ever get enough of Jean’s kisses or his touches, they always made him feel so alive. 

Jean’s hand found its way down to Armin’s ass and squeezed him which made the boy gasp against Jean’s lips. He blushed, though didn’t feel uncomfortable with Jean touching him there. His touch was gentle and careful, exploring, and not rough at all. 

Their kiss soon broke and Armin panted softly against Jean’s lips, feeling his hot breath over his face. Carefully, he leaned closer to leave a few more, sweet pecks onto his boyfriend’s lips, wanting to show him just how much he missed him. Two weeks were longer when you’re waiting for someone to return. 

The brunet cupped Armin’s face with one hand, his thumb gently rubbing under his eye. “Don’t cry, berry. You’re too beautiful to be crying.” 

Crying? Armin didn’t even realize himself. He reached up and felt the tears on his cheeks, then quickly wiped them away. 

Once he lowered his hands again, he smiled sheepishly and smoothed out Jean’s shirt- only doing it because he wanted to feel his chest. Feel him in general. His eyes flicked up to his neck where he noticed something that looked like a bruise. He pushed the shirt out of the way and widened his eyes at the sight. 

It was a big one- as if someone bit him. It didn’t look like a person did it, judging from the marks. Rather like the bite marks of a dog, and it really didn’t look good at all. 

“Oh God...” He whispered, “What happened? Why’re you hurt?” Before giving Jean the chance to say something, Armin already pushed him over to the bed and hurried over to grab the small first aid box from his drawer. 

“That? It’s nothing, really.” Jean explained as Armin came back over and sat down next to him. “You know how wild Dexter can be. We were playing and he bit me a little too rough- it’s fine, tho-“

“Jean! This looks really bad! I don’t know what kind of game you two were playing, but this is not okay...” The blond examined and opened the first few buttons of Jean’s shirt to push it down his shoulder. He looked sad while his eyes lingered on the injury and grabbed some cotton and disinfectant. 

It was sure to say Armin didn’t like to see any injuries on Jean- not because he found them ugly, but rather because it hurt him to see Jean hurt. As if that bite wasn’t already enough, Armin also spotted a few deep scratches over Jean’s chest. It broke his heart and tears uncontrollably found their way back to his eyes. 

The injuries probably were already a few days old, and Armin knew disinfecting them now wouldn’t make a big difference. But Armin felt so useless. 

Whenever he was hurt, Jean was there to help him and treat his injury immediately, it didn’t matter even if it was only a paper cut. And now after Jean was hurt, Armin was too late. He couldn’t do much to help him. All he did was placing bandaids on the bruise and cuts before lowering his hands again and hanging his head low in shame. 

“...I’m sorry.” He broke the silence, his voice weak, guilt dripping with each word. “I wish I... could’ve helped you earlier. I’m so s-sorry.” Armin’s hands flew up to his face as he pulled his knees up to his chest and curled up. “I’m such a b-burden... Can’t do anything right... Can’t be there f-for you... C-can’t help you...”

While Armin was quietly crying into his hands, Jean wrapped his arms around the short boy and pulled him onto his lap. “That’s not true in any way, you know? You’re helping me in so many ways, you have no idea.” The brunet murmured, his hand starting to stroke Armin’s back up and down. 

“I-I’m not...” Armin argued weakly. 

“Of course you are. You’re keeping me alive, berry. I have no idea what I’d do without you. You’re the sunshine in my life, you’re bringing light back into my life every time I see you.” He leaned closer to kiss Armin’s head. 

But the blond only shook his head- he couldn’t see how this was supposed to be true. All he was good for was crying and clinging to Jean- how was that anything good?

“You’re giving my life a purpose.” Jean whispered and used one hand to run through Armin’s hair, massaging his scalp. “I have no idea what I would’ve done if you dumped me that day on the beach. I mean, I would’ve understood if you did- what I said was pretty ridiculous.”

Armin shook his head again and leaned his body against Jean’s. “It was...” He mumbled but this time smiled tenderly and rested his hand against his muscular chest. “But... I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. You were funny and made me laugh... made me feel special...” 

While having his hair cradled, the boy glanced up with glassy eyes and caressed Jean’s chest with attention and care. If someone knew how to cheer him up and how to make him think of other things, it definitely was Jean. 

“...I missed you so much.” The blond whispered and hugged his boyfriend with both arms, wanting to keep that closeness at all costs. “I felt so lonely these days... Please don’t leave me again...”

“Never.” The brunet promised, pressing a long kiss on his forehead. “I’ll always be here for you, I’ll never leave your side. I promise.” He gave Armin another kiss and squeezed the shorter boy closer. 

“Because I love you. I love you so much.”

Armin froze at his words, but at the same time, he suddenly felt so warm and comfortable. It definitely wasn’t only Jean’s warmth- his words were causing things to happen to his body that were out of his control. 

His cheeks heated up, the blush spreading across his whole face. Armin felt so weak at these words and clung to the brunet the best he could while he nuzzled and snuggled his head into the crook of Jean’s good neck and inhaled deeply. His scent was so calming too. 

All of his worries melted away like ice and were replaced with acceptance and affection and intimacy. Love, to put it very simple. A feeling Armin yearned for for so long, and he only in that moment realized that what he longed for was being loved by the person he loved the most- to just hear and feel these words. It was such a huge step they were taking, and Armin was so happy he was experiencing these kinds of feelings with Jean, and only Jean, out of all people. 

“I love you too.” He murmured, tasting each word. The words rolled off his tongue so easily, as if it was the most natural thing for him to say. In fact, it was. Because he was in love with Jean for so long now, and hearing his feelings were reciprocated was giving him just a little more confidence. 

They spent the next few minutes in each other’s arms, simply enjoying each other’s company. Armin took in as much of Jean’s warmth and kisses as he would get, closing his eyes calmly. 

He was very much mollycoddled and pampered in affection for what felt like hours. Each time Jean gave him a kiss, Armin smiled and inched even closer to him. While his hands were rubbing his back and stroking his hair, the blond relaxed further and further to the point he was so comfortable, he almost drifted off to sleep. 

Until Jean spoke up again, “Oh, I almost forgot.” 

Armin reluctantly opened his eyes at that and blinked up at the brunet, tilting his head lightly as he stared at him confusedly. “What did you forget?”

Jean smiled, “Your surprise, berry,” he said, “I almost forgot to give it to you. Don’t you wanna have it?”

The boy chuckled and kissed Jean’s cheek a little shyly. “I’d love to know what you got for me, yeah...”

They both sat up properly and Jean reached somewhere into the inner pocket of his jacket. “Here,” He handed the blond something which Armin took and held with caution- he wouldn’t want to break one of Jean’s gifts, after all. 

After glancing up at his boyfriend briefly, Armin looked back down and began unwrapping his little gift. He already knew it was a book, concluding it from the weight and size. And so far, Jean had only given him great books. He read everything Jean gave him- there was that one book he didn’t exactly like, true, but apart from that one, every book, or gift in general, was just great and very much loved and appreciated. It wasn’t only the gift that made Armin happy, it was the fact Jean thought about  _ him _ while he wasn’t even there. 

Carefully, he pulled off the wrapping paper and set it aside before turning the book over to look at its front. He read the title, ran his finger gently over it, and just smiled fondly. 

“Romeo and Juliet..” He examined and flipped through a few pages. 

“I’m sorry it’s kinda worn out. That’s the original book- the very first one ever published. I thought you’d like to have it.”

“Huh?” Armin widened his eyes, “That’s... You’re kidding me, right?”

Jean shook his head. 

“This is the original one?” He paused, staring down at the book as he ran his fingertips over the cover again. Jean was right- it was worn out, but that only showed many people read that book and enjoyed it. The first ‘Romeo and Juliet’ ever published... in his own hands. Armin felt so honored. 

“Mhm. My grandmother had it, so I asked her if I could get it for you... I hope you like it?”

Armin just slowly shook his head, trying to hide his smile. “No. No, I don’t like it.” He then looked up at Jean, unable to suppress the big, joyful expression on his face. “I love it! Thank you so much!” Armin’s eyes literally lit up, the blush adorning his cheeks still apparent, and the excitement written all over his features. 

He threw his arms around Jean once again for a hug and squeezed him as tightly as he could. “I can’t believe you really got it for me! You’re the best boyfriend in the whole world!”

The brunet chuckled heartily and, without wasting much time, pulled Armin into a long, loving kiss while they hugged each other close. Everything was just perfect, they were so happy, and there was nothing that could ever separate them. Their bond was really, really strong. 

And even two years later, these two were still in a relationship and were growing closer with each day. Armin was studying biology and physics at a college not too far away from where he lived. They got to see each other at least once a week, or almost every day during the vacation. Armin enjoyed every minute he got to spend with Jean and was perfectly contented. He even completely overcame his fear of dogs- of Dexter- and found himself sleeping over at Jean’s place more often than he would’ve expected. 

College was okay for Armin- some days, it was alright. Some days, it was really bad. Some days, Armin just needed Jean’s comforting voice while cuddling his jacket and imagining him by his side. Some days, Armin was struggling with life, ended up crying and sobbing in misery. And some days, it got worse than he was able to handle. 

“J-Jean...” The blond stuttered very weakly, tears more than evident in his voice. “I can’t... Please, I need you. I-I need you so bad right now...” 

“Armin, berry, calm down. I know it’s bad but try to hold on, okay?” Jean spoke through the phone, “I’m here for you, my love. I know your teachers are shitty, they’re damned assholes.”

“Jean, I’m... I can’t do this. It’s not them...”

“Then what happened? C’mon, talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

There was a long silence and the only thing that made it clear Armin hadn’t hung up yet were his weak sniffles. 

Then, after what felt like forever, Armin answered. “G-grandpa... He.. h-he...” 

He didn’t have the courage to say it and began sobbing behind his hand while he was curled up on his bed. The only family he had left him, now Armin was scared Jean would leave him one day too. If he did, Armin didn’t know what to do. 

“Shhh... it’s alright. I’m coming over, alright? Let’s get you out of there for a while. Give me a minute and just stay where you are.” 

Armin did as told and curled up on the bed with his face hidden behind his hands. He cried to himself in silence, hiccuping every once in a while. All he needed was Jean, and he needed him now. His whole body was shaking, not only from the distress he felt but also from the cool wind that blew into his room from the open window. He didn’t have the strength to get up and close it, so only curled up further to warm himself. 

A couple of minutes later, Armin could feel strong arms wrapping around him and immediately turned around to embrace his boyfriend. It was and always will be a miracle to him how Jean managed to come to him so quickly but he definitely didn’t mind. As long as Jean was there and Armin had him for support, he was fine. 

As soon as he got in touch with Jean, he pressed his face into his chest and sobbed against him while clinging onto him tightly. He could finally let it all out, all the tears and cries and sobs. Because Jean was there and Jean would help him up whenever he fell. 

“I’m so sorry, Armin. Your grandfather was a good person.” Jean said assuringly, peppering a few soft kisses on the top of his head while his hand was stroking his back. “It’s alright, let it out.. I’m here, I love you.” He whispered which made Armin tighten his grip and shut his eyes tighter. 

“I-I need air... I don’t want to stay here any longer..” Armin muttered, scooting closer so he could wrap both arms and legs around his boyfriend, to hold him close and tight. 

Without any complaints, Jean lifted the blond and kissed his head another time. “Alright, don’t worry. I know where to go.” The brunet murmured softly and, in a matter of minutes, they were out of the room and already outside. Where? Armin genuinely didn’t care. He just wanted to be somewhere alone with Jean. 

When Armin eventually did look up, he could see that they were somewhere in the forest. It was even colder than in his room, so Armin squeezed Jean closer in attempts to warm himself up. He only then noticed Jean was pretty much running, though, didn’t question it. They were really fast- he didn’t quite get it but left it at that. 

“It’s right over there,” The brunet whispered which Armin only nodded at quietly and closed his eyes, trying to calm his body a little. 

They arrived at what looked like a cave where Jean walked inside. It wasn’t a very big cave but big enough to fit more than two people. It was a place far away from any other people, far away from everything, and it was exactly what Armin needed. 

Once inside, he curled up against Jean, his body shaking from the low temperature of the stones they were sitting on. He was shivering as silent tears still dripped from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. 

“I-it’s cold here...” He whispered, shuddering whenever the wind blew into the cave. Armin forgot to take a jacket with him and was only in his pyjamas. Jean’s body was very warm, but it wasn’t enough to warm him up. 

“We can go somewhere else.” Jean suggested quietly and pulled Armin closer to himself. 

Armin just shook his head and squeezed his boyfriend. It was a good place for him to be, and he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else, but it was the middle of the night and the cold was getting the best of him. His teeth clattered, his cheeks and nose turning a bright shade of red. And as if that wasn’t bad enough already, it also began raining. Well, at least they were in a cave where they could stay dry. More or less. 

While Jean didn’t seem to even move a muscle, Armin was trembling and shaking and shivering as his lips slowly began turning blue. It was so cold and not even Jean’s body was enough to keep him warm. And now that it was raining, they couldn’t go back anymore either. 

“A-arent you c-co-cold?” A mere whisper. 

Jean looked worried more than anything and leaned down to kiss his lips several times, probably to try and warm them. “Don’t worry about me. Just hold me.” He whispered and Armin didn’t argue as he let it happen and did his best to hold Jean. 

The rain only got worse over time and Armin had a hard time staying warm and even awake. His fingers and toes felt like dying off anytime soon, it was hard to keep his eyes open, and all strength left his body. Jean was the one holding him, close and tight against his warm body. Armin began questioning himself how Jean still wasn’t shaking even one bit and how he managed to keep his body that warm all the time but he was too tired to voice it. Whatever. 

He was too tired to do anything. All he wanted was closing his eyes and get some sleep, but for some reason Jean kept scolding him, telling him he had to keep his eyes open and stay with him, stay awake. Armin didn’t understand why. 

“...You hear?! Stay with me! Don’t close your eyes!”

“S...so... cold...” The blond whispered, his eyes daring to fall shut again. 

“Dammit!” Suddenly, Jean pulled away and Armin had to watch him leaving the cave. Why did Jean walk out into the rain? Why was he leaving him? Armin just didn’t understand anything anymore. The cool wind kept blowing into the small cave, carrying rain with him, leaving the boy shivering terribly. 

The blond’s eyes were only half-lidded, blinking very slowly at the entrance of the cave. His lids got heavier and heavier and heavier. Just before they closed for sure, he could see something big approaching him. But Armin passed out before he had the chance to see who or what it was. He was out like a light. 

Luckily, when morning came, Armin woke up to something warm and fluffy by his side. Weakly, he pressed himself a little further into the source of comfort he had, feeling this something moving and pressing against his head. 

Only then Armin realized what he was hugging was breathing, had a beating heart, and was covered with fur. Widening his eyes, the blond pulled away quickly and lifted his gaze immediately to see what he was holding onto. 

His poor heart just about stopped upon the sight of a big, dark wolf. “A-ahh! Don’t t-touch me!” He squirmed and scooted back as far as he could, pressing himself against the walls of the cave. Armin was panting hard in fear, his eyes filling with tears almost instantly. 

“J-Jean!! Jean, where a-are you?!” Screaming, the blond looked around for something- anything- to protect himself with but he found nothing, so instead just tried to create distance between himself and the animal, cornering himself in the process. 

Surprisingly enough, the wolf stayed where it was and had its head lowered onto the ground. It whimpered, staring at Armin with big eyes, which almost looked innocent- but really just almost. 

“Jean! Anyone! Help! P-please!”

He couldn’t die like that, not without seeing Jean at least one more time. That wolf looked careful and distant but Armin didn’t trust it one bit. That was just their way to play with their prey, to let them feel safe and then attack! He had never met such a big animal, or a wolf in general, and it scared him like nothing ever scared him before. After all, being ripped into pieces by a bloodthirsty wolf wasn’t a very pleasant death. 

“Please...” The blond whispered helplessly, drawing his knees up to his chest to make himself smaller while hiding behind his hands. “D-don’t eat me... Please.” As if talking to the wolf would change anything anyway. Animals couldn’t speak, nor understand people. 

The huge wolf began walking closer to Armin as the boy just cried into his hands and tried to turn away, his body trembling. It came closer to him to the point Armin literally peed into his pants in his fear and began sobbing loudly and uncontrollably. Fear got the best of him, took the control over his body. 

Though, the animal only nudged his cheek and gave it a small lick before lowering its head to the ground again. Armin just flinched and kept his eyes shut tightly for a minute longer, his whole body tensing. There came nothing more, so the blond actually dared to crack open one eye and peek down at the animal by his side who stared up at him in return, innocently as if it was no danger at all. 

Swallowing thickly, Armin chewed on his lower lip for a while before speaking up hesitantly. “Y-you’re... not gonna eat m-me..?” He didn’t expect the animal to answer, however, the wolf shook his head as if telling him ‘no’. Armin was dumbfounded, speechless. 

“You... u-understand me..?” He tried it again, just to be sure he wasn’t imagining things. And this time, the wolf began nodding his head and it almost looked as if he was trying to smile at Armin. 

The blond just let out a small “oh” before he looked away from the animal again and tried to calm down a little. His heart was beating so hard, he could hear it in his ears, could feel it in every muscle of his body. He still felt terrified by the wolf, even though it wasn’t doing anything to him. Its mere presence was enough. 

After some more moments of silence, the animal began moving again and got closer to Armin. He held his breath and turned his head away, only for the wolf to nuzzle his neck and lick him there as well. The blond gasped at first, then began laughing, the tongue tickling him. 

“A-ah... Mh.. S-stop!” He laughed and tried to push the animal away, but was tackled against the ground instead as the wolf now was licking all over his face. “Haha! Stooop!” He squealed, trying to shield his face with both arms. It was no use, though, the wolf managed to get its flappy tongue everywhere. 

Then the animal barked and rested its head on Armin’s chest, its tail wiggling with joy. Armin, still hesitant, eventually placed his hand on top of the wolf’s head and petted it, running his fingers through the soft, thick fur. It helped him to calm down a little more, and he even cracked a small smile. 

“You’re not as scary as I thought...” The blond admitted, sniffling a few last times as he just petted the wolf for a while. Cute, not scary. 

Nonetheless, his gaze soon saddened again as he glanced out of the cave. Where was Jean? The last time he saw him, Jean walked out of the cave for no reason. He missed him and was really worried about his well being. Jean left while it was raining and Armin didn’t know if he was alright or not. 

“...You don’t possibly know someone called Jean, do you? Long, brown hair, brown eyes, a stubble, tall, handsome face...” He couldn’t see any other way to get help and the wolf looked calm, not to mention it could understand him, so why not giving it a try? He was desperate anyway. 

What he didn’t expect was the animal jumping up and rushing over to the entrance of the cave where it barked. It hurried back and forth a few times and continued to bark, which Armin soon figured meant the animal wanted him to follow. If it’d lead him to Jean, Armin was more than ready to go wherever it took him. 

The blond got up and immediately cringed at the amount of urine that was soaked in his pants. He was 19 years old, damn it... Well, as long as nobody would see it, it never happened. As the wolf kept barking, Armin managed to get up and drag himself out of the cave. It was morning and the sun shone again, which made it less cold than the night before, which he was glad of. But he still felt really cold, more so with his wet pants. 

Looking around himself, Armin spotted the animal by his side and turned over to it. Still scared, but determined to find Jean, Armin faced the wolf. Just to be sure, he stayed at a safe distance though, a few feet away. “Alright, boy. Where‘s Jean? Please show me, it’s super important.”

He was feeling just disgusting, he was sad and heartbroken, lonely, weak, and he missed Jean. So, so much. What if he was injured? What if he got sick in the rain or something happened to him? It was Armin’s fault they even came here and he hated himself for it. If Jean was hurt in any way, he could never forgive himself. 

Tears glimmered in his eyes at that thought. If he lost Jean, Armin had no idea what to do anymore. He just lost his grandfather, he couldn’t lose Jean too. Even if it sounded selfish, Armin needed him. He needed him more than anything else because Jean was the reason he was  _ living _ and not only alive. 

Joy, sorrow, fear, anger, or any emotion he had, he could always go to Jean with it and feel so much better afterwards. Talking or cuddling or really just sitting next to each other; Jean was his safe place. He didn’t need his books anymore to let out his emotions because, whenever he needed it, Jean was right there for him. 

Now, Armin wanted to be there for him too. 

“C’mon,” Armin muttered a little more urgent, “I have to know where he is. Please.”

The wolf barked at Armin and sat down at a random spot in front of him. The boy eyed him confusedly and opened his mouth to speak again, but he was silenced immediately when he witnessed what was happening in front of his eyes;

The wolf began growing in his length, the body stretching itself all the way up. Its paws turned into hands and feet; its torso began losing all the hair; its head shrunk; it all began morphing into the shape of a human being during a span of not even a minute. 

And this in front of his eyes wasn’t just any human being: it was Jean. His Jean. Living, breathing, standing right in front of his nose. Armin couldn’t believe his eyes which were wide as saucers at this point. The wolf was Jean? He was keeping him warm all night? He was licking his face and trying to comfort him?

Honestly, Armin didn’t know whether he should be happy or scared. On the one hand, Jean was healthy and right there. On the other hand, Jean was a wolf just a minute ago. The blond wasn’t sure how good or bad that was. He was frozen in his position, forgetting how to breath while his eyes were focused on Jean. 

“Armin.. don’t flip out.” Jean spoke, stretching out a hand as he approached him and Armin’s first reaction was stepping back to keep the distance out of instinct. 

He swallowed and finally took a breath, his lips parting as if to say something. Nothing came. Armin blinked slowly, analyzing Jean’s body from head to toe- this was him without a doubt. This was his Jean. For a moment, his heart took over his mind and Armin practically leaped into his boyfriend’s arms, locking his own around his waist with his face pressed tightly into his chest. 

“J-Jean..!” He hiccuped, clinging to his shirt as if he’d disappear if he didn’t hold him tight enough. “Jean... Jean, I-I was so scared you.. yo-you could be hurt... I... I-I thought...” He began crying loudly, wailing uncontrollably against his lover’s chest as fat tears made their way down his already tear-streaked face. 

The brunet’s hand came up and stroked Armin’s head while the other one stayed at his back to keep him close; the way Jean always held him. “It’s okay, shh... I’m here and I’ll always be here for you, berry. I would never leave your side.” His soft whispers where doing wonders to Armin. Although it looked like it didn’t help calming him down, it definitely did. Armin just had to let it out because he couldn’t stuff it inside himself without exploding. 

Jean leaned down to press a long kiss on Armin’s temple, followed by one on the top of his head before Armin dragged them both down to kneel on the ground. Frankly, his feet didn’t carry him anymore. He was too weak. 

“I ca-called you.. so many ti-times..”

“I was by your side all the time.” Jean mumbled. 

“I was... so scared.” The blond hiccuped and sniffled while Jean ran his fingers through his messy hair. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.”

Armin shook his head quickly and squeezed him. “Scared I l-lost you..” He corrected him and nuzzled his chest longingly. 

“You won’t lose me.” Jean was quick to assure him, “As long as you want me by your side, I’ll never leave you.”

Nodding carefully, Armin attempted to get his breathing under control as he shed his last tears. It took him quite a while but with Jean’s scent, his tender kisses and his strong, warm, protective arms around his frail body, Armin was sure to calm down at some point. 

Once he did, the blond slowly pulled away and reached up to rub his face dry, sniffling a little while he kept his head low and stared down at their laps. 

“Armin? Can I explain it to you somewhere else?”

“Explain what?” He glanced at him through his wet lashes. 

“...Everything,” Jean admitted, “There’s a lot to explain and I don’t want to do it here. Can we go to my place? Is that alright for you?”

Giving a faint and somewhat hesitant nod, Armin looked back down. If Jean had wanted to hurt him or.. eat him.. he could’ve done it ages ago. They’ve been together for over two years, there was plenty of time to do something. But Jean always only cared for him and loved him, so Armin didn’t doubt his love and trusted him. He was just confused now, and overwhelmed with a lot of things. 

Jean was the first to stand up. Without making the effort to brush off his clothes, he reached down and lifted Armin into his arms princess-style. The blond squirmed, his face flushing a very dark crimson color. 

“J-Jean, put me down. I-I...” He pinched his lips together tightly, not facing the brunet while he tried to somehow cover his lower area with his hands. This was so embarrassing, and probably disgusting to Jean too. He’d like to spare them both the inconvenience. 

Though, Jean just smiled, “I know. It’s okay, don’t worry.” He adjusted the boy in his arms and soon began walking, heading to his place. Armin was still extremely embarrassed and not exactly comfortable in his position but he figured he didn’t have much of a choice. He wanted to get clean soon and Jean was always so fast- now he understood why. 

The whole way, none of them spoke. The silence surrounded them, causing the air surrounding them becoming tense and thick, still, none of them said anything until they arrived at Jean’s place and Armin only then was put down. 

The door was unlocked, opened, and Armin immediately headed for the bathroom without losing a word. He stripped off his clothes and just threw them into the washing machine for it to take care of them before he stepped into the shower and turned on the water. The water was hot, it made the bathroom fog up instantly, but Armin really didn’t care and let the hot water drip over his sore body. 

There was a light knock at the door. “I’ve got clean clothes for you. Can I come in?”

Armin stared at the bathroom wall silently. It wasn’t like Jean hadn’t seen him naked before, they’ve seen each other many times, even took baths together sometimes, so Armin didn’t understand why Jean was being so overly careful. Not that it was bothering him much either. 

“Sure.” He eventually answered and closed his eyes while he stood under the water. The door opened and Armin could hear Jean walk inside, putting something down, and walking to the door again. 

“Do you need something else?”

Armin exhaled and tilted his head up a little. “No,” He said over the sound of the water and washing machine, “Thank you.” 

Jean closed the door again. Exhaling deeply, Armin decided to get done with it quickly. He had to know what was going on. Armin still didn’t know how to feel about everything, he had to know Jean’s side of the story first before he could make a decision. Leaving Jean without giving him a chance to explain himself would be unfair- not that Armin wanted to leave him in the first place. He loved him. 

So, Armin used the soap to wash his whole body and hair as well. He rinsed himself and repeated the whole thing to get rid of all the.. dirt on his body before already turning off the water and opening the curtains to step out. The blond looked at the clothes Jean got for him and had to smile a little. He did have clothes at Jean’s place since he enjoyed sleeping over from time to time. But even so, Jean got him his clothes. Big and baggy and comfortable, just how Armin loved it. 

After drying himself, he slipped into the clothes and nuzzled the shirt the same way he did the very first time he was wearing Jean’s clothes- he could never get enough of it and, somehow, Jean always managed to make his clothes so soft to the touch. Armin loved it. It also helped him to keep calm and prepare himself for what was about to come pretty soon. 

A good minute later, Armin exited the bathroom again and fiddled with the big sleeves of his shirt, looking around for Jean. 

“I’m here,” Jean called and Armin followed the sound of his voice to the living room where the brunet was sitting on the sofa. He patted the space next to him, so Armin walked over and sat down, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“Here, drink this. You need to stay warm.” 

Armin reached for the cup and took a small sip of the cocoa, staring down into the cup. There was whipped cream on top, together with baby marshmallows and sprinkles, it made the cup look so cute. “Thanks,” The blond mumbled softly, holding the cup close. 

Silence filled the room. It somewhat felt tense, but it also felt alright in a way. Armin could tell Jean was really uncomfortable from the way he was chewing on his nails and was constantly running a hand through his hair. Not wanting that, Armin began scooting closer until he was able to rest his head against Jean’s shoulder. 

“I’m not mad at you,” The blond promised, “And I’m not scared of you either. I’m confused, that’s all..”

“I understand,” Jean said, slowly draping his arm around Armin’s shoulders. 

“Then explain.” Armin tilted his head up, staring into Jean’s eyes before he added a small “please”. 

Jean sighed, coming closer to rest his head against Armin’s. “You know, I was born like that,” He began explaining as Armin closed his eyes and listened. 

“My parents were wolves, my grandparents were, their parents were, and so on and so on. I found out about it when I was still a child and my pack trained me how to control the transformation, how to hunt, how to mix between the humans to not be found. It’s been tough but I guess I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Armin nodded slowly, letting Jean know he was listening and wanted him to continue. And so Jean did; “So I grew up and, one day, there comes the day you separate from your pack to go and create your own. You know, build a family and all that. I didn’t like that, mainly because I wasn’t very good with mating. I wasn’t interested in the girls I knew and just couldn’t find anyone. I was kinda desperate and sad after being alone for so long, I needed someone I wanted to spend my life with. I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.”

His hand came down to lift Armin’s face slowly, giving him a smile before his lips pressed a loving and tender kiss against Armin’s forehead. It made the blond smile and snuggle a little closer to him. “Mhm.” He looked up, almost like a child who wanted to hear the rest of the story. 

“So, to not die as a lonely, old man one day, I decided to get to know people. I’ve dated like two or three girls until I realized I wasn’t interested in females at all. Maybe this sounds weird but... I smelled your scent from miles away one day and I knew this was the person I wanted to spend my life with. It’s just... the scent is a very big deal for wolves. If your scents don’t match, there’s no way you could live together for life. It’d be a torture. And it’s really hard to find the perfect partner in personality and scent.”

Blushing embarrassedly, Armin looked down and drank a bit of his cocoa so he wouldn’t have to face Jean. It was embarrassing to hear something like that, and it got even more embarrassing when Jean began nuzzling his neck while inhaling Armin’s scent. The boy closed his eyes, really just appreciating the feeling of importance Jean gave him. 

“For real?” He whispered, tilting up his head to allow his boyfriend more space. Jean used that to press a few kisses on his neck and shoulder, whispering small things like,

“So sweet.”

“Perfect.”

“I love it.”

And a couple of more compliments Armin couldn’t understand. But he was fine with it. 

“Is that how you found me at the beach?” Armin questioned next and shuffled again so his feet were resting on the other side of Jean, his head nuzzled against his chest. “Because I wouldn’t have thought anyone would pay attention to me or always stay that close to me. I mean, we didn’t know each other back then.”

“I’m telling you I’ve smelled your scent from miles away. I was literally on the other side of town. It took me days to find you, but when I saw you, I didn’t know how to approach you without scaring you away, y’know?”

“Because approaching me and flirting with me in the middle of the night was very smooth, am I right?” The blond teased, making them both share a laugh. 

“Fine- maybe it wasn’t the best way or time, but it worked and that’s what’s important to me.” He grinned and stroked Armin’s hair gently. “You are important to me...” He added in a mumble. 

“...You’re important to me too,” Armin told him and leaned over to place his cup on the table so he could wrap his arms around Jean for a hug. 

Jean was quick to return the embrace and squeezed the blond. “What happened yesterday... I should’ve been more careful. I almost lost you to the cold...”

“It’s not your fault, Jean.” Armin tried to assure him but the brunet just shook his head firmly. 

“It is my fault, I shouldn’t have taken you into the woods. And I should’ve warmed you up earlier or gotten you out of the rain at very least. You passed out and you were... so ice cold. I was scared it was the last time you’d ever hold me. I didn’t think this through properly.”

“Jean,” The blond murmured as he lifted his hands and cupped the other’s face. “I’m here now only thanks to you. If you wouldn’t have.. transformed and warmed me, I would’ve been dead now without doubt.” He leaned up and kissed the tip of his nose, “You saved me. You risked our relationship and your safety to save me, and that’s what matters to me.”

Jean looked hesitant for a moment or two longer before his face visibly relaxed and he pulled Armin closer by his waist. “Does that mean... you and me are still a thing?”

Armin chuckled and pulled Jean down to crash their lips together. They moved perfectly with each other, their soft breathing filling the air. The kiss was filled with nothing but utmost love and affection, longing and warmth. The answer was more than obvious, words weren’t needed, and the two boys just appreciated each other’s company for a couple of long moments. 

After they pulled away, Armin nuzzled his face into Jean’s neck while pressing their bodies together, panting softly. 

“I love you so much.” The brunet whispered and kissed Armin’s shoulder. 

“I love you too..” Armin mumbled, pulling away to look back up at his boyfriend, a fond smile on his lips. “I’ll always love you.”

“That’s good,” Jean chuckled, “Because I couldn’t let you go anymore. You’re mine, you belong to me, and to me only.” His eyes gleamed with a not so rare possessive, and almost greedy, glow which each time gave Armin that feeling of belonging to someone- belonging to Jean in particular. 

Jean’s grip tightened as he moved closer and began leaving small butterfly kisses over Armin’s face. He didn’t leave one spot unkissed as he whispered sweet nothings to his lover. 

“I love you so much.” A kiss on his cheek. 

“You’re beautiful.” Another one on his nose. 

“You’re so smart.” A kiss on Armin’s brow bone. 

“You belong to me.” A kiss on his forehead. 

“I’m so lucky.” Jean said finally, ending his little praising with a soft kiss on Armin’s lips. 

The blond was blushing, his cheeks tinted pink as he sat comfortably and let himself get smothered in Jean’s affection. He loved it when Jean did that because he really could just close his eyes and enjoy himself once every while. It did him good. 

“...Can we go back to the forest? Not to sound weird or anything but... I’m kinda really curious now.” Armin admitted, scratching his cheek lightly, “Just want to uh.. check some things.”

“You want to take notes so you can write a story later on, don’t you?” 

Jean knew him just that well. 

“O-only if you don’t mind-!” Armin stammered quickly and pinched his lips together, his eyes flicking between Jean’s face and a random wall. 

The brunet laughed warmly and shook his head, “No, I don’t mind.” Then he reached up and tucked some hair behind Armin’s ear, “Do I get to read that one?”

Armin looked around for longer. This far, he only let Jean read one story he wrote and two poems. He wasn’t very comfortable with people having access to such a vulnerable part of himself, not even with Jean- at least not fully. Jean was the only person who ever got to see at least something Armin was working on because his trust in Jean was immense. But even so, Armin didn’t like to have people reading his stuff. It only made him feel more vulnerable and he’d like to avoid that. 

Up until now, Jean always respected his decision and never pushed it when Armin told him ‘no’. That was what Armin appreciated so much about Jean; he always respected and accepted his decisions. Not everyone did. 

“I’m...” Armin wasn’t sure and he couldn’t decide now either. It depended on how confident he felt with the final product, then he could either show Jean or not. “...not sure.” He said eventually, snuggling closer to rest his head on Jean’s chest. 

“Mhm,” The brunet hummed, “Alright. Tell me if you are. But now.” Standing up, Jean lifted the shorter male with him and carried him over to the kitchen. “I want you to eat something first, then you dress properly and only then we can go. Deal?”

With his arms wrapped around Jean’s neck, Armin glanced up at him and smiled. Now that Armin found out Jean was a wolf, he understood why he always was so protective of him. And he most definitely couldn’t not like it. If it wasn’t Jean who was caring for him the whole time, then who would? 

“Deal.”

Two or three hours passed when Jean and Armin were back in the forest. They both ate and Jean made sure to pack a bag with blankets and hot tea in a flask, some extra clothes and more food- just in case they needed it. Armin understood he wouldn’t want their situation to repeat itself. 

They headed for the forest hand in hand, walking close to each other. Jean insisted on carrying the bag even after Armin offered to take it over several times, but there was no convincing his stubborn boyfriend. Not that he could complain, though- Armin wouldn’t make it far with that much on his back. He was aware of that. 

“Over there,” The blond pointed over at an empty space between trees. “Let’s sit there.”

“No.” Jean declined rather quickly and lead them another way. “Someone marked that area. I don’t want you to get between a fight.” 

Armin blinked in silence before giving a slow nod in response. He was glad Jean was honest to him like that, rather than saying he didn’t like that spot, yet he still needed some time to get used to such things. 

They walked some further until Jean stopped and placed their bag against a tree. “Here is good. We have more space here anyway and nobody will disturb us.” 

Armin took a short look around before agreeing to Jean with a nod. “Yeah, it’s nice.” He reached for a blanket from the bag and put it on the grass to sit down and already got out his notebook and a pen, looking up at Jean with big, expectant eyes. 

The brunet tilted his head. He grinned and leaned down to peck Armin’s lips, murmuring a “you’re cute” and then took a few steps away from him. “Alright, here we go.” He announced as Armin quickly opened the notebook and held his pen ready. He kept a close eye on Jean, observing him closely as the brunet transformed himself into a big wolf. 

Armin’s eyes were flicking up and down, first at Jean, then down at the book, back at Jean and so on. He was writing for longer than he would’ve thought since he made sure to write down every single detail he was observing. Who knew when would be the next time he got to see it again. He wouldn’t want to make Jean do this for him too often because he preferred him to stay in his human form and he didn’t know how much energy Jean needed for a transformation. He didn’t want to overwhelm him. 

“Does it hurt?” The blond asked curiously. Seeing the wolf shake his head, Armin nodded and took notes. “Interesting...” 

“Do you feel the same? Do you see your surroundings the same way? Is it black and white or some other way? How is it to stand on all fours?” Armin kept asking but could see Jean couldn’t exactly answer these questions with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, so decided to keep these for later. 

The blond stood up instead and walked closer to Jean as he reached up and petted his head gently. The wolf panted and wiggled his tail at that which made Armin smile. “Your fur is so soft and thick,” He pointed out and hugged the head, nuzzling against him, “And you’re so much warmer than usually. I could cuddle you all day.” 

Jean barked and gave Armin’s cheek a lick, making him giggle. The boy stroked Jean’s neck and back and blinked when he laid down in the grass with his belly up. Armin grinned once he understood what Jean wanted and knelt down by his side so he could rub the wolf’s belly with both hands. 

Jean began howling and barking and panting even more, his flappy tongue hanging out of his mouth while his tail was wiggling like crazy. Armin laughed at that and made sure to give Jean many, many belly rubs. “You like that, huh?” He chuckled and continued petting him, liking it to see him so happy. 

The blond leaned down and nuzzled his face into Jean’s fluffy stomach, smiling to himself as he hugged the big animal. Jean was so much bigger than him, more so now as a wolf. Armin was still so small next to him. He was much bigger than the usual wolf, which was why he was so scared at first, but now that he knew this was Jean, there was no need to worry anymore because he knew he was safe with him by his side. 

Suddenly, the hug was broken when Jean jumped up on his paws and looked around them. His ears perked up at something Armin couldn’t hear yet as he began sniffing the ground. 

“...What’s wrong? Is someone here?” Armin questioned, looking around as well but there was nothing he saw or heard. “Jean-?” There was a loud howl. The blond flinched and stared over at Jean who began walking off somewhere. Too scared to stay back alone, Armin quickly scrambled onto his feet and followed behind Jean who was leading their way. 

The blond began shaking, not knowing what was going on, so he made sure to keep close to Jean at all costs. It was the only way he would hopefully not get injured. 

Then, as they began getting closer to what it was that Jean was hearing, Armin’s eyes widened as well. There was frail wailing and small sobs coming from somewhere near them, accompanied by little, weak hiccups. Armin recognized that sound immediately and, as soon as Jean began getting faster, Armin was running after him, pushing through bushes and branches on his way. 

There also was the sound of water; the small river that ran through the forest. Armin’s heart was pounding against his chest, panting once they finally arrived and his eyes widened at the sight. A small bundle of what seemed to be blankets or even a towel was causing the little cries Armin could hear. It was stranded at the river with nobody around. 

He quickly but also carefully made his way over and crouched down to turn the little bundle around. “Jean...” He whispered in disbelief and didn’t hesitate to pick up the little baby and hold it close to himself. “What... Is there nobody around here?” He whispered urgently as he rocked the infant in his arms and stared at Jean, waiting for any answer. 

The wolf was sniffing the air and ground around them, then began walking along the river as he followed a scent. Armin walked behind him while cradling the water-dripping baby against his chest and trying to shush them. 

The blond was horrified. Who could just leave such a small baby in the cold water, all to themselves, while they’re crying and shivering and trembling? His heart ached for the little baby. 

Soon, Jean gave another bark and began running off. “Jean!” Armin called and followed as fast as he could without shaking around the newborn too much. He ended up staring down at a lifeless body in the river. A man, not too much older than them. Light hair, glasses that were out of place, beard. A muscular, big body, from how he saw it. Half of his body was still in the water, the other half laying in the mud. He wasn’t moving, even after Jean nudged him several times, and it was then that Armin understood this person was dead. 

“O-oh God...” The blond whispered, tears welling in his eyes as he held the baby, which luckily began calming down. Not only was that man dead, there were huge injuries on his leg, arms, neck, and places he couldn’t see, which Armin assumed easily lead to his death. The clothes were ripped, the water around the lower half of his body dyed deep red with blood. He couldn’t make out what caused the injuries since he couldn’t see anything from the amount of blood and dirt. Anyway, Armin turned away quickly since the whole scene was making him feel nauseous and sick. The boy held back the urge to puke. 

“Armin.” 

The blond flinched at the voice appearing out of nowhere and peeked over his shoulder to see Jean back in his human body. “We need to go. Put the baby away.” He ordered as Armin widened his eyes at his words. 

“Wh-what? I’m not leaving this child here only to be killed!” He hissed under his breath, gaping when he could hear noises from afar. He couldn’t make out what these noises were- it sounded so strange. 

“We can’t afford to lose time!” Jean whispered, scowling, “If they catch us with the child, we’re dead. We need to get away from here,  _ now _ !” 

“No.” Armin only hugged the baby closer to himself. There was absolutely no way he would be leaving an innocent, little baby back only to save his own life. He would rather die himself than do something so awful.

“They’ll follow us if we take it with us.” Jean warned urgently, growling under his breath as the noises got closer and closer. They began sounding like many, fast footsteps. Rustling, stomping- there had to be at least more than ten people- or animals- coming their way. Needless to say, it scared him to the bones. He was trembling, sweating, nervous. 

“Then...” He thought for a few moments about what to do to save the child. He was so frightened by everything but he wouldn’t leave without the child in his arms- and then he got it!

The baby was wrapped in a blanket. If they managed to make whoever was after them to think the baby was dead, they’d be out of it in no time, right? The solution was easy: the blanket. 

Armin unwrapped the baby and walked over to throw the drenching wet blanket back into the river. He barely had time to turn back around to Jean to explain to him what he was planning and already found himself in his arms. 

And Jean began running. _Fast_. 

Armin had to close his eyes to not actually throw up from being shaken around like that. But he didn’t really have time to care for himself as he was making sure the baby stayed quiet so they wouldn’t be found. 

The little thing was still trembling so bad- no wonder, all their clothes were wet. And now the wind was blowing against them, making the little thing shiver. He tried to somehow hug the baby close to his chest and wrap both arms around them to try and offer them some warmth. At least they weren’t crying anymore, that made a lot easier. 

Jean passed the place they were sitting at earlier and quickly fetched their belongings, not giving Armin a moment to catch himself before he already was back in his arms and Jean was getting them out of the forest at high speed. 

Armin was clinging to the baby as well as Jean to keep them close and hopefully get some of Jean’s warmth over to them. He felt so bad for the baby, having to grow up without parents now... it was hard, Armin knew, and it only made him cling to that baby even more. More than he probably should. 

Some painfully long minutes later, the three of them made it back into Jean’s apartment. The brunet locked the door once they got inside before stepping closer to Armin and holding his face in his hands. “Are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere?” He worried, his eyes scanning Armin’s face and the rest of his body. 

The blond nodded at the first question and shook his head afterwards before he tiptoed so he could kiss Jean’s cheek. “I’m alright.” He assured him. Armin then wrapped an arm around him and stood close to lean against his boyfriend for a little while, just to get down from everything that just happened so fast and calm his nerves. His heart was still beating extremely fast, his body was powerless, and he just barely stood on his legs. 

It’s been quite a day. 

The brunet held him with both arms and pressed a long kiss on the top of his head. “Good.” Was the only thing Jean said and they both let the silence take over. Silence was nice, calming, peaceful. They both definitely needed it now. 

They let it linger for quite a while until Armin looked up at Jean and kissed his lips tenderly. “Everything’s okay. We’re all okay,” He assured him again and gave him a small smile. Looking down at the baby next, Armin moved so they wouldn’t squeeze the child too much and stroked their chubby cheek very lightly. 

“I’m surprised they stopped crying so fast.” Armin pointed out. The baby was breathing, the little heart was beating, they were fine- they just didn’t cry like Armin would’ve expected. 

“Must be the exhaustion.” Jean suggested, “Anyway, we-“ He was about to say something else but was stopped when Armin stepped away from him and walked over to the bathroom, leaving Jean back like that. The baby needed treatment, Armin didn’t want them to get sick. And if he had to take care of them on his own, so he would. 

The blond got into the bathroom and decided to wash the little baby in the sink since the sink was just about the right size. He plugged it and filled it with warm water before sitting down on the lid of the toilet and freeing the baby from the wet and dirty clothes. 

“You’re so cute,” He mumbled to himself, “I can’t believe there are people who want to hurt you. Who could hurt such a tiny, little angel like you?” He practically cooed and stood up when he was done undressing the baby- the girl, apparently. 

Armin very carefully placed her into the water and smiled when he saw it made her relax almost instantly. The girl already was a very calm and quiet child but Armin could see she definitely liked the warmth of the water. It was a sight to cherish. 

The girl’s little fists splashed in the water and Armin could swear he saw a tiny smile on her lips. It all made him so unbelievably happy, he couldn’t believe it himself. It all somehow felt so surreal, like he was dreaming and all that wasn’t even true. He was gay- that meant he couldn’t have his own, biological babies with the man he loved. Nonetheless, he felt like this little girl already belonged to them now. She needed people to take care of her and Armin always dreamed of having an own family one day. 

What a fortunate coincidence. 

There he was, bathing a little girl he found in the river with his wolf-boyfriend in the same house. Joy filled his heart. Maybe he was thinking too far into the future already, but he didn’t mind a future with Jean by his side as well as a little, precious girl. 

His life turned a way he never would’ve imagined. Out of nowhere, he found out the boy he was dating for two years already was half a wolf- something that only happened in movies. Now it became real for him and Armin already liked it. Jean was still the same, the very same loving and caring person he fell in love with, and the fact that he was trusting Armin with such a big deal was only reason more that Jean was the right one for him. Jean was such a compassionate and warm-hearted person, he would surely be a great father figure- even in their young age. 

Washing the baby‘s whole body, from the small head to the little toes, Armin made sure there would be no dirt left anywhere. Luckily, there weren’t any injuries on the girl’s body, she just was really dirty from lying in the water and mud. But now that she was cleaned up, Armin already felt better about her well being and health. He still would take her to the doctor to get her checked up, but he had a good feeling about it. 

The blond reached for a clean towel and wrapped up the little girl in it, leaning down to kiss her squishy head. “There, much better, right?” He smiled and walked out of the bathroom as he brought the baby into the bedroom with him and opened Jean’s closet. 

“What’re you looking for?” Jean asked and Armin only then noticed he was sitting on the bed. 

“Mh? She needs something to wear until her clothes are clean again.” 

“I doubt my clothes fit her, Armin.” Jean deadpanned as Armin turned around and walked over. 

“I know that, babe.” He carefully placed the baby into Jean’s arms who tensed immediately and held the girl away from himself. 

“I’m looking for something we can wrap around her. I’m gonna keep her in a blanket anyway.” Armin hurried back to the closet and hummed as he rummaged through the clothes in attempts to find something that wasn’t too big. 

“Hurry up,” Jean growled meantime, still holding the child away from himself. “She stinks.”

The blond just shook his head at what Jean said and eventually pulled out one of the many shirts that he forgot at Jean’s place. “Guess this will do.” He walked back over to the bed and took a seat there before taking the girl back into his arms and laying her down on the bed. 

Armin used the towel to rub the baby’s body dry and smiled down at her. “Don’t say she stinks, I just bathed her.” He chuckled, “And she’s so cute, and so calm. She hasn’t cried even once since we got her here, I’m sure she won’t cause much trouble.” 

“Woah, woah, woah-“ Jean interrupted quickly, making Armin look up and see his frown. “That girl’s not staying with us.”

“What..? Why not?”

“Because I said so.” Jean stated firmly, “I let you clean her and all but she is not staying in this house.”

Armin looked shocked. “You can’t be serious now... She’s an orphan, she doesn’t have any parents and people are after her. What do you expect me to do with her?” He questioned confusedly. 

But Jean’s frown only deeped. “Put her in an orphanage or whatever, I don’t give a damn.”

“J-Jean!” The blond teared up slightly, “How can you say something so horrible? This little girl has nowhere to stay and nobody to take care of her... And you want to throw her out..?”

“Exactly.” Jean stated simply, “This thing is not staying in my house.”

Armin pressed his lips together tightly to keep back his tears while he stared at Jean utterly shocked. This.. wasn’t Jean. He would never say such awful things. This wasn’t the Jean Armin knew. He just couldn’t believe that these words were really coming from him. 

“...So there’s no way to convince you otherwise?” Armin asked, looking down at the baby who was suckling on her little fist. He hadn’t even dressed her yet. 

After a short silence, Jean replied with a cold and low “no” and Armin could swear his heart skipped a beat. While he looked down at the baby, he wrapped her into the towel again and lifted her to hold her against his chest. Standing up, the blond made sure to keep the baby close to himself and wordlessly walked out of the bedroom. 

“Armin. Where are you going?” Jean questioned and followed him as he walked over to the door and slipped into his shoes. 

“Armin?” Jean asked again after not getting any answer from the blond. Armin turned around to stare at Jean, staring deeply into his eyes with tears glimmering in his big ones. 

“If she’s not staying, I-I won’t either..” He muttered simply, squeezing the girl close. 

“You can’t be serious now, are you?” Jean raised his brows, “You’re leaving because of a child you don’t even know?”

“I’m leaving because I’m not going to put this child in any orphanage. I’m not gonna do this to her, and if you don’t want her here, I won’t force you to keep her here either.” 

“You do realize that you’re leaving me for that baby, right?”

“And I hope you, Jean, realize that you’re acting like an ass for no reason...” Armin looked down at the floor and reached over to open the door. 

“You don’t even know what her parents are, Armin.” Jean stated as a fact, narrowing his eyes while Armin just shook his head lightly. 

“I don’t care ‘what’ her parents are. She needs parents, and if you’re not wanting her here, I’ll get her to my place…” His hand rested on the doorknob and grabbed it firmly. 

“...If you’re leaving through that door right now, know that you won’t have to come back again.” 

The blond actually hesitated. All the time he spent with Jean, all the intimacy and affection and emotions they’ve shared, all the happy and fun times they had... it all would be for nothing as soon as Armin left through that door. Was it worth it?

Looking down at the infant in his arms, Armin frowned. That girl didn’t deserve to be put in an orphanage where people didn’t even have the time to care for her properly. There were so many children and not enough people to look over them. Armin knew best. He did not want to ever put someone in there with his own hands, wanted to give and receive love instead, to take care. 

On the other hand, Jean was his boyfriend and Armin loved him dearly. He loved him more than anyone else. Jean was always there for him when he needed him- was there for him in general. Whether he was happy or sad or angry or whatever; the first person who always helped him, no matter what, was Jean. No matter what bothered him, Jean always took care of him without hesitation. 

Armin was in a dilemma, he was helpless and sad and just didn’t know what was right and wrong anymore. All he knew was that Jean didn’t like the baby for whatever reason and that he wouldn’t want to put her in an orphanage. He had to make a decision and it was the hardest one he ever made. If only his grandfather was still there... he would’ve told him what was the right thing to do. 

“Why... Why don’t you want her here?” The blond asked, trying to understand Jean’s thoughts. 

“I’ve got reason enough to not want a child in my own home.”

“You’re not answering my question,” Armin turned his head to face him, “Why don’t you want her here? You don’t even know her. You’re just hating her very existence for no reason. I don’t understand.. That’s… not you. Jean, explain. Why can’t you keep her here?”

Silence. No answer. But no answer was enough answer for Armin. The fact that Jean wasn’t answering him and was just staring at him was enough for the blond to finally make his decision. 

“I’m sorry.” He pinched his brows together sadly. “Thank you for everything... but I’ll take care of this girl. You don’t want to, so I’m not going to force you into this.”

Again, Jean said nothing. So, without saying much more, Armin squeezed the doorknob, opened it, and finally stepped out while holding the little girl close. He breathed deeply and took the first few steps outside. 

But before he could get anywhere, he could hear Jean calling him from the door. His heart began racing, hope filling his big eyes again. Jean changed his mind? He finally came to his senses? He understood that leaving the child alone was not the right way? Of course he did! This was  _ Jean _ ! Jean and him woul-

“Huh..?” He blinked when Jean threw something over to him and caught it hastily, holding it up to see it was a blanket. “What...?”

“It’s gonna be cold outside.” Jean commented indifferently and just a second later shut the door close. 

Armin was left with parted lips and the tears finally dripping down his face. He was heartbroken and was staring at the door for a long while, as if hoping Jean would open it again soon and would tell him to come back inside. Instead, Armin was greeted with literally nothing. An emptiness that crushed his heart. 

He forced himself to turn away at some point and looked down at the baby instead who fell asleep at this point. So she at least didn’t have to freeze outside, Armin used that blanket to wrap her up properly and hugged her close to himself as he cried against her. 

He just lost Jean. And it was tearing him apart. 

Somehow, he didn’t even know himself how, he managed to make it back home. Armin didn’t go to his place in college and instead went to his grandfather’s house since that was the last place he somehow felt comfortable, other than Jean’s home, of course. But now that his grandfather was dead, this house was empty. So empty. So lonely. So cold. Armin hated this feeling. 

After taking the keys from underneath a stone where they always were in the garden, Armin walked inside. It only made him tear up all over again, his chest aching and his arms shaking. He.. was alone. He literally had no one. Mikasa was out of the country for almost a year now, somewhere in France to study. Or an internship? He didn’t understand her. And Eren... their relationship wasn’t the best anymore. After Armin started to spend more time with Jean, Eren became weird and they barely got to speak with each other properly anymore. Armin never got to understand why. One day Eren just started to be busy all the time or acted differently around him and, apparently, didn’t have time for Armin anymore. They got to see each other a few times but it was nothing compared to their old days. 

And well, Armin didn’t have more friends. And so, he didn’t have anyone he could go to for comfort. He literally lost everything. The only one left was that little girl in his arms. 

“I-it’s okay..” He muttered to himself, making sure he locked the door behind himself as he made his way inside. Everything remembered him of his grandfather. 

It hurt. 

Armin walked upstairs to where his room used to be and slowly walked inside. The room was still the exact same way from when he left it almost two years ago, everything was the same and it filled Armin with a painfully heavy nostalgia. 

He approached his bed and gently set down the girl on it before walking over to his closet to look for something she could wear. Eventually, he just got out a shirt that got too small for him and one he wasn’t wearing anymore, then walked back and took a seat on the bed. 

The blond undid the blanket first, then the towel. He used one shirt to tie it around her lower half as a makeshift diaper and dressed her into the second, thicker one. Her arms were too short, so Armin had to fold the sleeves several times until it somewhat fit and looked a little like a dress. She looked cute like that. 

Leaning down to kiss her head, Armin lightly held onto one of her hands and caressed her with his thumb. “You’re lucky you don’t understand anything yet, princess.” He mumbled sadly, stroking her cheek with his free hand. “We also need to get a few things for you... you can’t stay like that.” 

He didn’t have any fitting clothes, the girl didn’t have anything proper to eat and he couldn’t keep her wrapped up in shirts forever. And Armin didn’t have much money either as a student. At least it was the weekend, so he had the day off and could think of a way to deal with everything. 

Not that he was planning to go back to college anytime soon anyway. Sure, he was a good student and liked studying and learning, apart from his teachers, but at the time being, he just felt like shit and college was his last worry now. He didn’t feel ready for it. 

“C’mon,” Armin reached for the blanket Jean gave him earlier and used it to wrap up the girl properly, making sure there was no way for her to freeze outside. “Let’s go and get some things, huh? I’m sure you’re hungry...” He mumbled and stood up as he quickly got into the bathroom to wash his face with some cold water. He needed to keep a clear head. 

Coming back, Armin changed his clothes into a pair of jeans and a simple, black hoodie, making sure he got his wallet, the keys and a backpack. His phone was still in his room at college from where he called Jean the day before but he didn’t exactly care much about it anyway- there was nobody who could possibly call him other than maybe his boss at work. Though, Armin doubted that would happen yet. So, he lifted the baby into his arms and nuzzled against her before walking downstairs and out of the house. 

Surprisingly enough, the girl hasn’t cried even once on their way. She was kind of complaining and whining a little here and there but Armin was able to keep it down until they’ve reached the supermarket and he headed for the aisle with baby products- actually three aisles, he realized once he actually got there. 

With the baby in his arms and the shopping cart in front of him, Armin looked around a little helplessly. There were at least ten different kinds of diapers and even more different types of baby milk- how could one even make a decision like that?

Since Armin didn’t have too much money, he decided he would get the cheaper diapers so he wouldn’t have to get the cheapest milk powder- he wanted her to at very least get a decent meal. That was the most important to him for now. Armin also got a pack of wipes and baby powder, as well as a bottle for her to drink the milk from. The bottle looked cute with little butterflies and ladybugs all over it and a red lid, it made him crack a little smile. 

“Looks cute, right, princess? And it’s on sale too.” He mumbled to her, placing the bottle gently into the cart before giving her a kiss on the head. As Armin looked around for other stuff, he noticed a woman near him giving him a weird and judging look and, in the process, making Armin shrink into himself. He didn’t feel very comfortable with her looking at him like that. 

Armin just tried to avoid her gaze as he looked back at the aisle and reached for a two-pack of pacifiers that matched the bottle, then reached down for a bottle of baby shampoo, which he all put into the cart as well. Afterwards, he quickly changed sides of the aisle and sighed deeply through his nose. Armin was still a teenager.. of course he’d get weird looks from people. He’d just have to get used to it. 

Reaching the clothes section, Armin looked around and his discomfort vanished as he looked at all the adorable clothes there were for babies. Unfortunately, Armin was in no state to buy any of these, but maybe one day. Instead, he looked through the more casual ones and pulled out a white overall that had two small birds in the upper right side, the hems were pink and the fabric was a little thicker. It was a button up one and Armin liked it, so he put it into his cart for her to sleep in. 

“Oh, wait.” He lifted it again and checked the size. “That’s too big, I guess..” He muttered, as if talking to the baby, and reached for a smaller size instead. There was another one that was similar to the one he got, but with flowers instead, so he took that one too. Now she also needed something to wear underneath it. 

The blond looked around and got two plain white overalls that had no sleeves for legs and short ones for arms with three buttons on the lower part- probably to make changing the diaper easier. Then Armin just chose two more overalls that looked good to him, and weren’t too pricey, and put them into the cart with everything else, all the time making sure he wouldn’t go over his budget. 

That probably was enough for a while, and Armin didn’t think he forgot anything, so he walked to the cashier and placed everything on the counter. The little girl began squirming again, her face contracting in an almost desperate way. 

“Shh...” Armin shushed her gently and rocked her on his arm. “I know you’re hungry, just one more minute.” He whispered and walked to the other side of the cashier as he began putting the things that already got scanned back into the cart. 

This time, the baby began whimpering louder and started crying, and Armin panicked. He continued to rock her back and forth in an attempt to make her calm down again while at the same time placing everything into his cart and getting out his wallet. Armin managed to fish out enough money and handed it to the cashier quickly before turning back to the baby. 

“It’s alright, I know.. Please don’t cry..” He whispered, “Please.. You’ve been such a good girl all the time, just a few more minutes, princess. C’mon..” While he kept rocking her and the person behind the cashier gave him back his change, the blond pulled the cart over to the side quickly so he wouldn’t be in the way. 

The girl continued crying and Armin honestly had no idea how he was supposed to get everything into his bag and make it out of the supermarket anytime soon. He got an idea and held his index finger against her lips and, after some while, the little girl quieted down and began suckling on Armin’s finger. Sighing with relief that the girl finally stopped crying, Armin let her nibble on his finger for a while and looked down at her, watching her as her face relaxed and the baby calmed down again. 

Armin was so thankful and, after some moments, very carefully pulled his hand away from her mouth so he could use his arm and take off his backpack. He quickly shoved everything inside with one arm and threw it back on his back. The diapers didn’t fit, so Armin was holding these with his free hand and was already on the fastest way back home. If he wouldn’t make a bottle soon and feed her, he feared she might start to cry again, and Armin wanted to avoid that- to see her like that was breaking his heart. 

The ravenette was quiet the whole way back, which Armin was really grateful for. She looked calm in her sleep, at peace, it truly was a sight to melt at. Such a small, sweet baby... Armin still couldn’t understand what was Jean’s problem. And maybe he will never get to understand either. 

At least that little girl would have someone who took care of her, and Armin would do his best to give her as much as he could, offer her the best future he could. Even if it won’t be much, especially not at the time being, he would do his best to make sure she could live a good life and grow up healthy and happy. That was what was the most important to him at the moment. 

About Jean... he’d just have to take some time and see what happens. In a few days, things would get suited out, he hoped. 

It took Armin about ten minutes until he reached home and got inside, heading for his room where he placed the sleeping girl on the bed and took off his bag, putting it on the floor next to the bed. After he made sure the baby wouldn’t fall from the bed by placing a pillow on each side of her, Armin opened his bag and got out the bottle as well as the milk powder. Glancing over at her one last time, Armin quickly hurried downstairs into the kitchen. 

First, he washed the bottle, in case someone else touched it in the supermarket, and dried it with a towel. Then Armin read the box of the milk powder and filled the amount of water into the bottle, placing it into the microwave and heating it up. Once it was warm enough, but not too hot, Armin took it out and scooped the powder inside. 

Closing the bottle quickly, Armin began shaking it as he made his way back upstairs and carefully walked back into his room. 

“Hm? You’re awake?” He had to hold back a small chuckle and walked over to the bed, scooping up the baby into his arms. “Look what I’ve got here, princess.” He held the bottle close to her lips and, in an instant, the girl latched onto it and began drinking greedily. It must’ve been a while since she last had something to drink. 

“Yeah, that’s good. Drink it all.” He murmured softly, holding the bottle up for her to drink properly. “So you can become big and strong.” He added, watching while the girl was drinking her milk. 

“You need a name.” It could be that this girl already had a name- it was very likely she already had a name. But Armin couldn’t know it and most certainly wouldn’t just find out what her name was, so he had to improvise a little. 

“Let’s see...”

The first thing Armin noticed was that she was a very, very calm baby and barely cried unless it was something big like being hungry. She was calm while taking a bath, while dressing her, while taking her out and walking around with her. It almost was a miracle how calm she really was. Armin didn’t think it was anything to worry about though- babies didn’t always have to cry, and as long as she did it when it was necessary for Armin, like when changing the diaper or feeding her, he wouldn’t complain. It only showed more how much of a calm baby she was and how she wouldn’t cause much trouble for him- as far as he could judge. 

The other thing Armin noticed was the pitch black fuzz of hair on her head. It was very silky and smooth and remembered him a lot of Mikasa’s- it had the same texture and thickness. On the contrary, her face didn’t resemble Mikasa’s at all. The girl had bigger eyes and a somewhat rounder face, the nose didn’t fit either- then again, this wasn’t Mikasa’s child to begin with. The same hair didn’t mean the same family. Maybe the girl’s mother was Asian and that was why she had similar hair. 

As Armin’s eyes traveled over the girl, he thought of a name that would sound good. He hummed in thought. Lili? Or Liliana? Rather not. This girl was something special and she deserved a special name, and it took Armin longer to think of one not everyone heard of. 

Daphne? No, she didn’t exactly look like a Daphne, although Armin actually liked that name. He continued thinking, adjusting the bottle when needed and letting out a short sigh. 

Naming babies- who even did something like that when being only 19 years old? It wasn’t like Armin secretly prepared for such a case or even imagined to have a real baby this soon, less so since he was more interested in guys than girls. 

It was a big deal for him because he wasn’t sure how the people around him would react to him being gay and Armin wasn’t very confident with coming out to begin with. But Jean did something to him that let him forget about his insecurities in a matter of seconds. Maybe it was the way he spoke with him, or maybe it was just the way Jean was, but Armin didn’t feel uncomfortable with people knowing he was gay anymore. 

Anyway, back to the names. Armin needed something special. A name nobody else had. He never would’ve guessed finding a name was so difficult- he wouldn’t want to give her a name which didn’t suit her, after all. 

The boy kept gazing down at the baby in his arms who drank the whole bottle and fell back to sleep just a second later. Armin smiled down at her and placed the bottle away for the time being. “Let’s get you dressed.” 

He slowly laid her in the middle of the bed and undressed her from the shirt around her bum first as he reached for the diaper bag and took one out. He carefully slipped it underneath her and pulled it up on the front. After struggling a few times to close it properly, he eventually understood how it worked and checked to make sure it wasn’t too tight. 

Smiling at the small victory, Armin took one of the shorter and a long sleeved overall and put them next to him on the bed. He then realized- he should’ve dressed her before feeding her so she wouldn’t accidentally wake her. Couldn’t help it anymore, though. 

So, Armin took off the big shirt and put it aside so he could dress her. Armin was super careful and gentle, making sure to slip her arms and head into the holes slowly before he buttoned it up over her diaper. Then, he took the long-sleeved one and did the same as he carefully dressed her and finally buttoned it up. Dressed like this, the baby already looked much better and much more comfortable. 

“There we are, princess.” He whispered and, even though she was dressed, wrapped her into Jean’s blanket since it was cold and he wanted to keep her warm. And that blanket just happened to be the right size, so..

“How about... Ariadne?” He suggested and stroked her chubby cheek softly. Smiling, Armin leaned down to leave a light kiss on her head. “I think Ariadne sounds good, don’t you?”

The baby stayed asleep, breathing softly while Armin watched her for a little in a peaceful silence. “Ariadne, it is.” He confirmed in a whisper and gave her another kiss before getting up from the bed and adjusting everything around her to avoid her from falling. 

He cleaned up the room quietly and put everything he bought into a separate place in his closet. That place would now be kept free for Ariadne. She would stay with him forever, Armin decided. Or at least until she would want to move out, at very least. 

Turning the lights off and walking over to the door, Armin glanced at the bed, a smile on his lips which was of pure contentment. He was only 19 years old and had a little baby to take care of all by himself, but Armin couldn’t help but feel happy because he was giving that little girl a chance. Despite of what he had given up for it, Armin was happy. He didn’t regret it. 

“Sleep well, princess...” 

It was about thirteen exhausting, but definitely joyful, years later when Armin awoke to the sound of someone screaming. It startled the blond awake and his body didn’t hesitate to throw himself out of bed- literally. He hit his head against the hard floor with a groan and reached up to rub the spot he just hit, exhaling tiredly. 

“Daaaddd!!” The voice, which didn’t belong to anyone but his precious daughter, cried out again and Armin was up on his feet in a second. 

“What’s wrong?!” He called back loudly as he followed the sound of her voice which brought him to the bathroom. “Aria!! What’s wrong?! Did you hurt yourself?!” He called back worriedly, his brows knit together in fear as he waited for a response. 

“Dad, I swear I haven’t done anything! I haven’t touched it! I’m gonna die, dad!! I’m gonna bleed out!” The girl cried and sobbed, her voice muffled by her own hands. 

“What are you talking about?!” Why would she think she’d die? Did she hurt herself- or cut herself?!

“Princess, open the door, please! Don’t say such things!” He attempted to speak calmly but he couldn’t help but cry with her, fat tears dripping down his face. “I’d never let you die, just open the door...”

Armin could hear some shuffling and a few seconds later, the door unlocked and Armin swung it open immediately. Frantically, he looked over at his daughter and snatched her arms quickly- only to see them being just fine. Her pale skin was perfect as ever. Then what was the problem?

His gaze fixed on the girl instead as he stared deeply into her steely-grey eyes that were overflowing with tears. “D-dad, I swear I haven’t done anything. It just started bleeding for no reason...” The girl muttered, her hands shaking, “I don’t wanna die, dad...”

Armin was so utterly confused and overwhelmed that he just couldn’t understand what she was talking about. His gaze flicked between her eyes before his gaze dropped down to their feet and he finally understood what Ariadne was talking about when he saw the blood on her undergarments. 

“...Oh.” He looked back up at her face and couldn’t but laugh, reaching up to wipe away his tears. He pulled the girl closer to himself after he calmed down and rubbed her back as he spoke, “You really scared me there... Don’t worry, princess, this isn’t something that’ll kill you. That’s normal, it only means you’re growing up and becoming a woman.” 

“A w-woman?” The girl hiccuped and pressed her face into her father’s chest, “But why do I have to bleed to be a woman, dad? Are you sure I’m not sick..?”

“Pretty sure.” The blond kissed her head. “Aww.. look at you growing up! I’m so happy!” His daughter was becoming a real woman and he was so proud of her. Even though she wasn’t even thirteen years old yet, he was so happy her body was growing and maturing in a healthy way. That was what he worked for for all these years. 

On the contrary, Ariadne didn’t seem as convinced and happy as her father. She was just hugging him tightly with her face buried in his chest and Armin’s arms around her. He wanted to assure her and convince her that what was happening was all normal and part of growing up but Armin also understood that she wouldn’t understand right away and wanted to give her time to get used to it. 

“Oh- I need to go and get you pads or else you’ll stain your clothes again... Can I leave you here for ten minutes? I’ll run to the supermarket and be right back, alright?” Armin pulled back to face the girl, his hands gently cupping her cheeks while he gave her a reassuring smile. 

Ariadne glanced up at her father and blinked a couple of times before looking down and nodding lightly. “Yeah... I mean, I’m not a baby anymore. And it’s not the first time I’m home alone anyway.” 

“I know. You’re a woman now.” The blond teased her and pinched her nose playfully, chuckling. 

“Daaad!” The girl whined, her voice nasal as she shoved his hand away and pouted. “So what am I supposed to do ‘till you’re back? Just bleed out?”

Armin shook his head and ruffled her hair gently, “You won’t bleed out, I promise. And I won’t take long either, so just wait here and don’t-“

“-open the door for anyone.” The girl finished his sentence and looked up. “I know.” She gave her father another hug as Armin kissed her forehead and pulled away then. 

“I’ll be right back, princess.” He went back to his room, which used to be his grandfather’s room before he died, and got ready quickly. 

He really just threw on pants and a random shirt with a jacket on and tied up his hair into a bun. Over the years, he let it grow out since he didn’t pay too much mind to it. There were more important things to take care of. By now, it reached a little more than his shoulders. 

Armin’s face showed a kind of maturity and masculinity, but even so, there was not a single hair on his face. It just wouldn’t grow and Armin wasn’t too bothered by that either. He still had a baby kind of face but the growth over the years definitely showed. He was 32 now, so of course he wouldn’t keep his youthful face forever- though, he didn’t look his age either. Not at all, actually. 

“I’m leaving! I’ll be right back!” Armin called out once he stood at the door and opened it as he stepped out. Closing the door, Armin didn’t hesitate a second to start walking to the nearest supermarket he knew. All the way, he couldn’t stop grinning. It felt like it was just yesterday when he took Ariadne in. She was still a newborn back then, now she was already grown up and just got on her first period. It was a bittersweet feeling. 

Time sure flew by. 

The proud blond speed walked to the supermarket and, once in there, looked around for the hygiene section. It didn’t take him too long to find, and soon he already stood in front of the huge aisle. It was bigger than himself and with so many different kinds of pads and tampons that Armin was overwhelmed by it for the first few moments. 

Why were there so many different types to begin with? Long, extra long, long plus, dry comfort, classic, night plus, active shape night, ultra night, maxi, with wings, without wings— where would he even start? Armin knew a lot of things, but nothing about the science of pads and tampons and women hygiene. 

He gaped, staring helplessly through the huge aisle while he tried to weight out the possibilities of which one would be the best for now. There was nobody else in the row that he could ask either, so Armin was left to himself with this decision. 

The boy walked the aisle up and down several times and began panicking. His daughter was waiting for him at home, alone, bleeding. He had to make a decision soon!

Armin looked around in every row and eventually decided to get the ‘active shape night extra long’ pads with wings- whatever it was, it looked big and long enough to cover up the whole area. It’d do for until he found out what was best to buy. 

The blond walked over and tiptoed, stretching to reach up for the top rows and get the pack. He brushed it with his fingers but didn’t reach it enough to grab the pack. Frowning a little desperately, Armin stepped onto the first row and tried it again, only to be startled by someone behind him reaching for the pads instead and handing them to Armin. 

“Huh?” Armin got down again and blinked down at the hand. He took it with a smile and looked up at the person who helped him. “Thank you so mu-“

Jean?!

Out of all people who could’ve been there, out of all people who could’ve helped him- it had to be Jean? 

These eyes, these lips, that hair- it couldn’t be anyone but him. The only thing that changed was a scar all over the left side of Jean’s face. No doubt it came from a paw; a wolf’s paw. That much was obvious. Jean’s left eye turned white in return and Armin wasn’t sure whether he was blind on his left eye or not. It looked awful. The scar was healed up, though, so Armin concluded it must’ve happened years ago already. 

Time sure flew by...

Armin stared in shock for a moment or two, but his shock faded rather quickly and was replaced with neutrality. Indifference was a better word. 

He was over it long ago, and Armin wasn’t the crybaby he used to be when he was with Jean. The blond grew to be a confident and strong man; it all only thanks to his daughter. He didn’t need someone by his side to feel strong and independent anymore. Maybe it took him thirteen years, but Armin did it and became confident in himself and his actions. He was independent, he was tough, and he was optimistic for Ariadne and his future. 

“Hello.” The blond greeted shortly and looked down at the pad pack in his hands to read the description on it in hopes to understand better what ‘active shape’-whatever meant. 

“You still have that shirt?” The brunet asked which Armin looked down at himself then, seeing he was wearing the same shirt he wore back at their first date. He hadn’t grown much, it still fit, so Armin didn’t bother to throw away any of his old clothes. It was the same shirt:

_ Holy shift! Look at the asymptote on that mother function! _

It was such a stupid shirt and such a stupid phrase but Armin didn’t have the heart to throw it away. Mikasa and Eren gave it to him on his birthday when they were still teenagers. He and Eren weren’t in contact anymore and Mikasa... 

Mikasa was found dead more than twelve years ago. Decapitated. She was missed before that for months. Her body was found only half a year later. Nobody knew what happened to her so it was put under ‘unknown murder’ just a year later. The culprit was never found. And never will be, it was too late for that. They allegedly didn’t have enough proof for the deed. Which was bullshit, but nobody believed Armin. And he didn’t trust any of them. 

The police, your friend and helper. What a joke. 

That shirt was more than just a birthday gift, and Armin could never throw it away. He wore it proudly, with that bittersweet nostalgia nestling in the back of his mind. How bad he wished for the old days to come back...

“I do.” The blond confirmed simply, monotonous, and looked back up at Jean. “Could you give me another one of these, please?” Armin asked then, changing the topic rather quickly since he honestly wasn’t interested in talking for too long. His daughter was waiting for him at home. 

“...Sure. Are these for that girl-“

“Her name is Ariadne and she is my daughter.” The blond intervened without missing a beat, staring up at Jean. “And yes, these are for her.”

Jean furrowed his brows at Armin’s way of talking and handed him another package. “Thank you.” And without giving him the chance to say anything else, Armin turned around and walked off. 

He wasn’t hurt anymore- Armin used to cry himself to sleep almost every day, tried to reach Jean on his phone so many times, tried to talk to him. But Jean never answered and he long wasn’t interested in keeping any contact to him anymore. Armin set his priorities, and Jean wasn’t one of them anymore. He missed the chance by now. His only priority was his daughter, she needed love and care and affection, and Armin was giving her all that. He could see that joy gleaming in her beautiful eyes every day and it was more than enough for him to forget everything else around him. 

Did he still love Jean? Truth be told, he didn’t know. Jean was his first and only love, they’ve spent two wonderful years together. Then Jean acted weird and they broke up. Maybe there were still feelings inside him, somewhere deep down, but he doubted he would ever let them come out again. Not after what Jean did to him. He was a wreck, he was poor, he had literally no one and he had to take care of a baby. Jean left him and Armin learned to stand on his own legs the hard way. 

It was too late, even if Armin still loved him. Nothing could be like it used to again. Armin was happy with his life, and he would gladly continue living like that with his precious and sweet daughter by his side. He never needed more than that. 

Even though, Jean followed behind Armin and quickly walked to his side. “Armin. We need to talk.”

“I don’t think there’s anything we two need to talk about.” The blond said, walking over to choose a few chocolate bars and gummy bears for Ariadne that he knew she liked. 

“It’s serious. It’s about that girl- Arine, you said was her name?”

Armin turned over to face Jean, his expression serious. “Ariadne. And I honestly don’t care what you have to say. Leave me alone, that’s what you can do best.” 

“Armin, I’m serious-“

“I’m serious too. Leave us alone. We don’t need anything from you.” Armin frowned and turned around to keep walking again, his frown growing more and more. 

“Armin, fucking hell.” Jean suddenly grabbed his arm and stopped him from walking any further which made the blond really mad. “It’s about the girl. I should’ve told you earlier but I didn’t know how-“

“Are you kidding me right now?!” Armin questioned in disbelief, trying to yank his arm back. “I told you I don’t care, what’s so difficult to understand? You ‘should’ve told me earlier’? I think you had enough time to come and talk to me ‘earlier’, Jean!”

“Listen, I know what I did wasn’t right but let me explain.”

“No, now you listen to me.” Armin finally got his arm out of Jean’s grip and glared up at him, tapping his chest with each word he said. “You had twelve years. Twelve years, eleven months and twenty-seven days, to be precise. You didn’t show up. I called you, I looked for you, but you were nowhere.”

How did Jean even dare to tell Armin anything? He didn’t have the right to do so, he didn’t deserve to be listened to just like he decided to not listen to Armin. 

“You left me alone with a newborn in my arms! You threw me out, you straight up ignored me for thirteen years! And now you expect me to listen to you?” Armin laughed dryly, shaking his head as he answered his question himself, “No. No, Jean. You’ve lost your chance years ago. It’s too late for you to say anything, less so about  _ my _ daughter that  _ I _ raised all by myself. Do us both a favor and just stay away. Crawl back into the cave you came from, we don’t need anything from you.”

Jean was left speechless and, even if Armin felt a tiny bit guilty for talking to him like that, he didn’t feel like he was doing something wrong. He was finally letting everything out that summed up over the years and it was such a relieving thing to do. 

“You don’t understand.” Jean stated after a short silence passed them, “This isn’t about us. It’s about  _ her _ . And as her father, like you say, you need to know before it’s too late.” 

The blond stared into Jean’s eyes for a long while before clicking his tongue and turning around to walk over to the cashier. He had absolutely no clue what Jean could be talking about, but, judging from the way he spoke, it indeed seemed to be important. Otherwise he wouldn’t pressure it so much. Also, Armin just wanted to be sure Ariadne would be alright, so he gave in partly. 

“Fine, whatever. We can talk, only because it’s about Ariadne.” He agreed as he paid the things and headed for the exit, Jean following by his side. “But I need to go home now because she needs this. You can come with me and we talk, then you leave. You don’t see her and you don’t talk to her.”

Armin was really protective of his little girl. He only wanted her best and would always do what was in his might to let her have as little trouble as possible. He wasn’t sure how much of a good influence Jean was in his current condition and didn’t want to overwhelm her either, so he would prefer her not seeing him. 

“And I don’t want to see you after this anymore either.” The blond added in a firm tone. 

“Alright.” Jean nodded shortly, shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked. The blond was kind of hurrying and walking faster than usually so he could be home earlier. As long as she did as he told her and stayed in the bathroom, there was no need for him to worry. Nevertheless, he still worried for her and wanted to be back home as fast as possible. 

Neither Jean nor Armin said anything on their way. The only thing that could be heard were their steps and the occasional breathing. There wasn’t anything Armin had to say in the first place and he actually was glad Jean didn’t either. It was better that way. 

Once they’ve reached Armin’s home, the blond took his keys to open the door and walked in. “I’m back, princess!” He called out for his daughter to hear and closed the door after Jean got inside as well. 

“Sit on the couch, I’ll be right back.” Armin tossed the keys on top of the drawer next to the door and took off his shoes as he glanced at the stairs. 

Something was off... Ariadne usually replied to him when he came back home. Now he couldn’t hear anything coming from her. That was weird. Puberty? He wasn’t sure. 

“I don’t think it’s smart to put me on the couch now.” Jean thought out loud, his gaze fixed on the top of the stairs too. 

“Excuse me-?” Armin was silenced by a hand against his mouth as Jean pressed a finger against his own lips as well. 

“Shh. Listen..” The brunet whispered now and Armin just furrowed his brows in confusion. He did as told, though, and widened his eyes when he began hearing soft steps coming from the bathroom upstairs. That wasn’t coming from one person- there at least had to be two!

“Ariadne!” Armin let everything fall from his hands and pushed past Jean to run upstairs. Reaching the bathroom, the blond quickly threw it open, only to be startled by the big creature that appeared in front of his eyes. 

The blond blinked slowly, taking a step back and stumbling until he fell back onto his butt. He didn’t took his eyes off of his daughter, his breath stuck in his throat. 

His daughter... a wolf. Just like Jean was one. He never would’ve expected it to happen and it definitely caught him off guard. The blond didn’t know how to react and only stared up at the big animal in awe. Now that the door was opened, the wolf began sniffing around and slowly approached Armin who was still glued on the floor, his eyes wide as saucers. 

“...That’s what I was trying to tell you. But that’s only half of the story.” Jean commented as the wolf, which was supposed to be his daughter, licked over her snout. She looked so... hungry. Greedy.  _ Thirsty _ . And Armin supposed he now was her meal. 

He didn’t have much of a problem with dying, honestly, he wasn’t scared of it. He just didn’t want to leave his daughter back all alone like that and end in her stomach. Especially not now. Not now when she needed him the most. 

The wolf opened her mouth and Armin could see the huge, sharp, pointy teeth. They were sharper than Jean’s for sure and Armin began worrying for real. Her eyes glew a bright red, capturing Armin’s gaze fully to the point he almost got nauseous and dizzy. 

Next thing Armin knew, there was a second, much larger wolf right next to him. He knew it was Jean from only seeing the color or the fur and stared between the two of the growling animals. Jumping up quickly, Armin clenched his jaw tightly. “Don’t touch her! If she gets hurt, you will regret it, Jean!” The blond shouted angrily. 

The two wolves kept growling for a while, getting louder and louder until Jean barked angrily a few times. Armin had no choice but to watch everything happen while his eyes never left his daughter and he made sure Jean wouldn’t get too close to her either. 

At first, the barking didn’t seem to have any effect on her but after a few more, louder and more aggressive barks, it visibly intimidated the smaller wolf and silenced her. She sat down and rested her head down against the ground, her ears lowering as she let out a soft whimper in defeat. 

Armin decided that was the moment he would jump in and hurried over to hug his daughter- who apparently turned out to be a real wolf. He still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t care, though, he still loved her the same. It was something that would never change. It used to be the same with Jean, after all. The blond clung to the girl, embracing her and holding her close and tight. 

“Aria... It’s okay, princess. I’m here, dad is here.. You don’t need to be scared.” He muttered to her, hoping that she would understand him. It wasn’t like with Jean, Ariadne seemed so different now. As if she didn’t even know he was her father and didn’t even know who she herself was. 

The blond stroked her head, running his fingers through her soft fur as he gave her a kiss on the head. “I’m here, I’m here...” He repeated in a whisper and closed his eyes for some moments while the wolf stayed the way she was and didn’t move. 

It didn’t take long for Armin to feel someone’s hand on his shoulder and he immediately tightened his grip onto the wolf. “Why isn’t she turning back..?” He questioned, “You turn back in seconds... Why is my daughter still a wolf?”

“Armin,” Jean’s voice rung through the silent room, “She isn’t just a wolf. That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier. Her father was a wolf and her mother a vampire. They-“

“I don’t care! Help her turning back! Now!” He snapped and turned around to shoot Jean a glare, “She’s still a baby! My baby... She can’t stay like that forever! You have to do something- you  _ owe _ it to me!”

Wolf or vampire or fairy or whatever else there was, Armin didn’t care. He just wanted his daughter to turn back and take care of her. He wanted her to be alright and he’d do anything to achieve that. He’d literally walk over corpses if he had to. 

“I can’t help her, Armin. She needs to do that alone, it’s part of a wolf’s puberty. But since she is half wolf and half vampire...” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I won’t lie to you; I’m not sure if she’ll make it.”

“What do you mean you’re ‘not sure if she’ll make it’?!” Armin stepped away from his daughter to grab Jean by his shirt and yank him down. “She just needs to turn back! That won’t be too hard, now is it?! You’ve done it a dozen times, am I right? Why won’t she make it then?!”

“Armin.” The brunet stated calmly, his hands coming up to rest on his shoulders with a firm grip. “Like I said. She’s not a pure wolf. Something like that never happened before, I don’t know how I could help her.”

The blond snarled at Jean’s lousy response and shoved him back roughly. “Then get lost!” He snapped, “I don’t need your help! I’ve raised her all by myself for thirteen years! I will manage that much alone too! Get out of my sight, I don’t want to ever see you again!” 

Jean raised his hands and spoke, “That’s not-“

“I said  _ fuck off _ !” Armin repeated, him cursing being a very rare case. It barely happened- if at all. “I don’t need your help and I don’t need you! Leave us alone!” The blond cried as he began shoving Jean back to the stairs for him to leave. “We were fine without you, and we will be fine without you now too!”

Jean looked at Armin heartbrokenly but Armin kept his stoic expression. He looked sad and hurt but, for real, Armin didn’t have the stamina to care about that now anymore. Jean didn’t care when Armin was sad, so there was no reason to care about him now either. He had wanted to get Jean back, true, but his feelings changed, he changed, and he only wanted Jean to be gone now. 

He had enough, and Armin couldn’t take much more. 

“Fine. I’m leaving. Just let me explain one last thing.” The brunet muttered and took a few steps away so he would be out of Armin’s grip. “You should get her outside, or somewhere you can be alone and she will be able to feel the moon energy on her body and have the light shine over her. That’s what pure blood wolves do with their children when they hit puberty. It’s the only thing I can think of that could possibly help.”

Armin’s eyes narrowed, his icy gaze piercing right through Jean’s. He never would’ve imagined the day would come where he felt such things for him. “Leave. You’ve long overstayed your welcome.” He uttered simply which earned himself a weak nod from his once-boyfriend. 

“Understood.” Was the only thing said before Jean already left and Armin could hear the front door closing behind him. 

The blond sighed deeply and turned back to his daughter to pet and caress her head with tenderness. Was what Jean said the truth? It did make sense and Armin didn’t expect Jean to lie to him- even though they broke up years ago, he didn’t expect him to lie to him about such an important matter. Not even Jean was that cruel, he thought- believed.  _ Hoped _ . 

Then again, he thought the same thing years ago and Jean kicked him out. He wasn’t sure what to believe. 

All Armin wanted was to get his precious baby back, to wrap her into a blanket and protect her and lull her to sleep... Seeing her like that was tearing him apart. He could only imagine how much pain she must be in. If there only was a way for him to take all that pain instead, only so she wouldn’t have to suffer, he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

The blond hugged the big wolf close and began singing the lullaby he always sang when Ariadne couldn’t sleep from nightmares or when she just didn’t feel well. For the time being, it was the only thing he was able to do. 

“Sleep, little princess. Close your eyes...” He sang softly, both of his hands caressing his daughter’s head. It seemed to have a positive effect on her since the once aggressive wolf was now starting to grow tired and sleepy, began relaxing. Her big eyes slowly fell shut and she finally gave her body a chance to relax as the wolf slowly drifted off to sleep right on the spot. 

After Armin made sure she was sleeping deep enough, he pressed one last kiss against her head and sighed deeply. He pulled away to sit up properly but still made sure to keep one hand on her head which kept stroking her very gingerly. He wanted her to feel him even in her sleep- so she would be assured she wasn’t alone and wouldn’t be scared. 

He was thinking deeply about what Jean told him to do. True, it would be a full moon that night. And if Jean was right, he could get his daughter back to her senses as soon as the moon was out. He just hoped it would help. She was half a vampire, so Armin didn’t know if that influenced the whole process in any way or not. 

Surprisingly enough, Ariadne was sleeping for hours, even after Armin stopped stroking her and just laid down on the floor next to her to at least have some closeness that way. He missed his little girl so bad. If there was anything he could do to help her, Armin wouldn’t hesitate even a second. To just hear her sweet voice or see her smile- it’d give him strength to go through this. 

After laying there awake for hours, the day slowly but surely turned into the night. Only when the sun was setting, the big wolf by his side began moving and got up on her paws as she howled loudly. Armin quickly got up as well and stood by her side as he began to slowly wave her over to follow him. He had enough time to think about what to do. 

“Come here, that way is good.” He told her calmly as he lead her down the stairs and to the back exit of their house. He decided to trust Jean and would get her out and into the moonlight in hopes it’d help her the right way. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice anyway. 

“Good girl, just follow me.” He spoke calmly once they made it out. The wolf was calm for now and curiously following Armin’s lead. She looked around once or twice but other than that kept her gaze on Armin to follow him wherever he was leading them to go.

The blond was relieved it was working out well that far and that he was able to lead his daughter into the nearest forest. He felt like they were more protected with trees and bushes around them, not to mention that people would freak out and call the police if they saw such a big animal in the middle of the streets. The forest seemed like a nice place for now. 

Making sure that they were far enough inside to not be noticed by the people outside, but still not too deep for them to get lost, Armin finally stopped and exhaled deeply. Jean said something about her standing in the moonlight, so Armin looked up and could see the trees were blocking the sight of the sky. He frowned, “Dammit..”

The blond had no choice but to lead his daughter even further inside the forest until he found a place that didn’t have any trees whatsoever covering the sky. It was further inside the forest than he would’ve wanted for his daughter, but it’d have to do for now. She had to turn back to her human self, and if they had to get into the dark, scary forest in the middle of the night, so be it. 

“Sit down, princess. Take a rest.” The blond murmured and carefully stepped closer to stroke the wolf’s head gently, as if persuading her to rest and sit down. Lucky for him, she did as told and sat down in the grass while Armin kept caressing her head tenderly. He looked into her eyes and noticed that they’ve returned the beautiful grey color they always used to be, not that scary red one. Armin still had no idea why her eyes were red a few hours ago- he hadn’t seen that happening with Jean. 

Whatever. That wasn’t important at the moment. He just had to keep his daughter calm before she got hungry or something and wanted to eat him again. 

The blond glanced at the sky, his hand in his daughter’s soft, dark black fur. “The stars look beautiful, don’t they? So bright..” His voice was a mere whisper which only could be heard thanks to the silence surrounding them. It was almost peaceful, wouldn’t there be that strange feeling inside Armin that they were being watched. Well, they weren’t in the best place, of course he would get the feeling of being watched. 

The blond inhaled and exhaled deeply and enjoyed the few more minutes of silence they had. That was, until he could hear footsteps from behind them and whipped his head over in an instant to see who it was. He narrowed his eyes but relaxed a little when he saw it only was Jean- he wasn’t exactly happy about this but Jean was better than a wild animal or someone else crossing their way. 

“...What are you doing here?” The blond asked plainly, obviously not in the mood for smalltalk or whatever. 

As Jean approached them, Ariadne shrunk in her size and was resting her head on the ground quietly as she glanced up at Jean and watched him. 

The brunet, against Armin’s will, briefly placed a hand on top of her head before looking over at the blond. “I can help her turn back human.” Jean said, making Armin’s eyes widen. “I’ve found a way.”

“Really? How?” He inquired, stepping closer to Jean while keeping their eyes locked. 

“You...” The brunet spoke, pausing for a second before continuing, “...She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?”

Armin blinked and nodded lightly. “She does.”

“Would you give your life for her?”

“What kind of question is that?” 

Jean sighed. “Would you? Is she that important to you that you’d give your life for her well being?”

Without any trace of hesitation, Armin nodded again and spoke firmly, “I wouldn’t hesitate to do so.”

“...I see.” The brunet smiled and raised one hand to use the back of his fingers to stroke Armin’s cheek. Armin was frozen in place by his sudden action- he almost forgot how it was like to get this kind of affection. The softness of his touch, the slow and gentle rhythm of his movements; it remembered him too much of the old time. 

Oh dear, how bad his body was longing for affection and intimacy right then and there. How bad he wanted to just throw his arms around Jean; hug him, kiss him, feel his warmth, his big, strong arms around himself. He began imagining it: he and Jean on a big bed with fluffy blankets, arms around each other, legs entangled, his head on Jean’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, and the occasional ‘I love you’s. 

It would’ve been so good, wouldn’t Jean have literally cut Armin out of his life years ago. Remembering that made the blond come out of his trance and take a step back to create distance and avoid any more physical contact between them- it was driving him crazy. The nostalgia was painful and Armin didn’t want to be remembered of these times, not in the situation he and his daughter were in, at least. 

He was over Jean but that didn’t mean his love died down completely. The tiny flame was still flickering somewhere inside him- small and frail, but definitely there, and growing at the simplest and smallest touch. He couldn’t forgive Jean for what he did, couldn’t forget that day. It kept repeating in his head, again and again and again. But even so, just a simple touch from Jean was enough to cause chaos in his heart, to make him doubt everything and let the walls he built around his heart shrink just a little. Armin didn’t want this to happen again. 

If there just was a way for him and Jean to return to the old times and spend all these years together with this little girl, that would’ve been nice. Even if she was half vampire, Armin still didn’t see a reason for him to hate her like that. This just wouldn’t make sense. 

“So... How can she become a human again?” Armin asked after some silent moments and glanced back over at his daughter. 

“Don’t worry,” Jean smiled, “You’ll get your daughter back. Just leave it to me.”

There was this gleam in his eyes- was it sorrow? Agony? Pain? Melancholy? Armin couldn’t tell. But he knew he hated that expression on Jean. He looked so sad. Yet so happy. 

“...Alright.” This one time. He wanted to trust Jean this one last time just to see where it’d take him. Maybe, just maybe, they’d get to have a real talk after this. And maybe... just maybe... they could start over. 

Armin was ready to do so- even if he could never forgive Jean, it’d be nice to have someone by his side. Even if it was only someone to talk to, or just someone to come over when Armin needed it. It was a beginning. The blond was strong alone, no doubt. It wasn’t like he needed Jean and was depending on him like he used to when he still was a teen. But just having some company sounded really good. 

While Armin was so deep in thought, he got startled when his daughter suddenly began howling loudly. He blinked, looking over to see her howling at the moon. Her eyes turned crimson red again and she looked so.. ravenous. As if she hadn’t eaten in years. She was drooling, showing her sharp teeth while low, deep growls left her throats. 

“Stay a few steps back.” Jean advised, gently pushing the blond back as he himself took a step closer to the wolf. 

“But-“ Armin inquired quickly. 

But Jean assured him with a smile, “C’mon, trust me.”

So, Armin reluctantly nodded and stayed where he was, keeping his eyes on the scene right before him. Jean transformed into a wolf as well, which was much bigger and obviously stronger than Ariadne’s. Even in his wolf form, Armin could still see the big scars over, mainly, his face. Jean’s wolf hasn’t changed much from the time he had last seen him- probably got a little bigger but not much more. 

The two wolves started barking and growling at each other again, but different than from where they were home, Ariadne didn’t seem to be intimidated by Jean. Not at all. She looked scary with her shining eyes and pointy teeth- and it was then when Armin understood what Jean meant when he said she was half vampire. It showed. He never would’ve guessed that was even possible- half wolf and half vampire? That was scary. 

Now he knew how that looked like, and he was certain that Ariadne could be a big threat to either part of her parentage. Wolves would fear her vampire-part, and the vampires would fear her wolf-part. She still wasn’t in control of her powers but Armin understood that would cause big issues. Everyone knew these creatures didn’t go well together, and it was a miracle Ariadne was born in the first place. Armin was scared for her safety more than ever now. 

The blond had no choice but to watch as the smaller wolf tackled Jean to the ground, leaving Armin gaping. Wasn’t Jean stronger? Wasn’t he supposed to push her down and, like, bark some sense into her? The way he did back at home? Instead, it looked like Jean had no chance against her. The ravenette easily kept him underneath her. 

“J-Jean-?” Before he had any chance to ask what was going on, he saw his daughter opening her mouth, leaning down, and roughly biting into Jean’s neck. He began whimpering loudly and shuffled on his spot on the ground, but there was nothing he did to push Ariadne back. And it began worrying the blond. 

He took a step closer, only to jump back at the sound of Jean’s angry bark. Tears welled in his big eyes... was Jean sacrificing himself to save his daughter..? It pretty much looked like it. 

“Ariadne!” He shouted instead, hoping and praying she would hear and listen to him. “Stop it! Let go of him! R-right now!” His voice broke through the end, tears finally finding their way down his cheeks. “I told you to l-let go!”

No matter how much of an asshole Jean was- he didn’t deserve this! He didn’t deserve to die like that! That was cruel! Nobody deserved something like that!

His blood already soaked the grass and dirt underneath them, as well as Ariadne’s teeth and their beautiful fur. The ravenette was still growling aggressively, her teeth latched onto Jean’s neck with a strength he never experienced before. Armin could do nothing to prevent it. Was this it? Was the only thing he was good at watching? 

When Eren stopped talking to him, Armin couldn’t do anything . 

When Mikasa was found dead, he couldn’t do anything. 

When Jean broke up with him, he couldn’t do anything. 

Armin was sick of doing nothing and having to watch losing everyone around him. A vicious cycle. And he couldn’t get out of it if he continued doing nothing- Armin finally had to take matters into his own hand and do something so he won’t be losing another person to nothing. He didn’t want to lose Jean like that. 

The blond clenched his jaw and just stepped closer as he began trying to pull Ariadne off of Jean. Her teeth were dug deep inside Jean’s neck and, no matter how hard he pushed and pulled, there was no way for Armin to overcome his daughter’s strength. He barely even moved her. 

“I said let go!!” He cried again as he wrapped both arms around his daughter’s head in an attempt to pull them apart. “Jean! Do something! Push her away! Please!” 

All of Armin’s attempts to pull these two apart were lost in vain. He was no match for a wolf, not to mention that Armin wasn’t exactly a strong man either. At some point, though, his daughter finally loosened her bite on Jean and got off of him. 

The ravenette staggered and swayed from left to right, her body collapsing next to Jean in the grass underneath her. As Armin’s gaze whipped up at her, he could see her slowly turning back into a human. “Ariadne!” He cried and quickly got up to sit between them both and cupped his girl’s blood covered face carefully. “Are you alright?! Can you hear me?!” 

The girl looked up with half-lidded eyes, looking dazed. Her face was dyed with Jean’s blood which was spread all the way down her chin and neck as well as her clothes. Ariadne wordlessly gave a very faint, small nod in response before she passed out and her body went limp in Armin’s arms. “Aria! W-wake up!” His voice was trembling terribly, fat tears dripping down his face as he hugged his daughter close to himself and shut his eyes tightly. 

“Sh-she’s fine...” A voice next to him spoke up next and Armin recognized it immediately. He carefully laid his daughter down in the grass and took off his jacket to put it over her- she was still in her sleepwear, after all. It was a cold night. 

Then, he quickly turned around to face Jean, seeing his face turning pale and his neck still bleeding awfully much. “J...Jean...” He barely whispered, reaching down to very carefully touch his shoulder and get a look at the injury; it looked bad. Really bad. It wasn’t only bleeding, Jean’s skin turned purple and blue, his veins visibly pulsing and throbbing, slowly changing into a dark black color. His breathing was uneven, his body not moving, and the black in his veins slowly began spreading into the rest of his body.

“ ‘M fine... She’ll wake up in a.. few minutes. G-get Ariadne away fr-from here. Fast. D-don’t let them.. get h-her.” He spoke with the last strength in his body, jerking whenever it visibly got too much for him. Armin was watching in terror and realized: there was nothing he could do to help Jean anymore. Again. He couldn’t do anything. All he could do was watching. 

He sniffled, his trembling hand coming up to cup the brunet’s cheek very carefully. “Jean... Why.. why did you do that? We could’ve found another way... Y-you didn’t have to throw your life away like that!” 

The brunet chuckled; a weak, short chuckle that turned Armin only more into a mess than he already was. Damn... He could endure being alone and not having Jean by his side, but watching him die... This was too much for him. 

“Didn’t throw i-it away...” His gaze flicked over at the girl to his right, an expression of contentment plastered on his face. “M-Mikasa would... would’ve been so h-happy...”

“Huh..?” The blond sniffled, confused, “What does Mikasa have to do with this...?”

“O-oh, Armin...” Jean huffed softly, tensing as the pain grew and the poisoned blood in his body already ran the way up his head. “Sh-she’s Mikasa’s d...daughter...”

When Armin heard this, his heart just about skipped three beats. Mikasa? Ariadne was Mikasa’s child?! How? When? He never saw Mikasa pregnant or even knew of anyone she could be dating. She used to be so distant to others- she was gone for a while for that internship or something back then, and he never got to see her return from it. She was missing and they only found her so much later... so this was why. 

No wonder Ariadne was so beautiful... she definitely came after her mother. 

“B-but...” Armin took a deep breath, trying to stay calm in their situation and trying to keep his focus now. “If Ariadne is Mikasa’s daughter... then... who’s the father?”

Jean moved his gaze back up at Armin and looked into his eyes. “..Jaeger.”

“Wha-? Eren and Mikasa had a child?” Armin questioned in surprise, his eyes wide. 

“N-no.” Jean inhaled deeply and Armin could see his end was nearing slowly. “His half b-brother. Zeke. The ma-man we saw in the river that-that day.”

Armin was so overwhelmed. Eren had a brother? How came he never heard anything of him? Why wouldn’t Eren tell him something like that? Was that why he never spoke to Armin again after the day he took Ariadne in? All this new information... Armin would’ve never guessed. 

“He was a w-wolf. M-Mikasa a vampire. Not j-just any vampire- part of th-the Ackerman C-Clan. These g-guys are s-sick. Killed h-her. Killed Ze-Zeke. Wanted to-to kill the girl. B-but... you saved her.” Jean whispered while his voice began getting more quiet to the end, the exhaustion more than obvious on him. But he nonetheless kept talking. “D-didn’t want to get y-you in trouble but... but you just w-wouldn’t listen. If someone.. would’ve f-found you, they would’ve kil-killed her and you..”

Armin only blinked quietly down at Jean, his hand starting to shake more and more while he listened to what Jean was telling him closely. He was finally getting the explanation he was waiting for for years but Jean was on the brink of death and Armin wished he could’ve changed that earlier. 

“Her scent... C-couldn’t keep her w-with me or.. they’d find us. I-I had to let yo-you go for your own s-s-sake... My pack f-found me, b-beat the living c-crap outta me,” He huffed out a laugh, “B-but in the end.. I kept you bo-both away from them... I’ve be-been there.. all these years… protected you... n-never le-left your s-side.”

The blond was dumbfounded, utterly speechless. Jean said all these awful things and acted like that because he wanted Armin to leave? Because he wanted to keep him away from trouble? Jean... actually saved him with what he did. Not only him- he mainly saved Ariadne. He took all that over himself, only for Armin to stay safe.. and Armin thought he was a selfish asshole with no heart. 

“...Jean, I-I.. If you would’ve just told me, we could’ve found other ways of dealing with this! Anything would’ve been better than this, J-Jean!” Armin sobbed and leaned down to clutch Jean’s shirt and cry into his chest. “Why did you have to do this to me?! I missed you! So much! I wanted you to hug me and tell me everything was alright like you always did! I wanted you to raise Ariadne with me! I wanted  _ us _ to be a family!” 

The brunet very slowly lifted one arm and loosely draped it over Armin’s smaller body. He forced his other hand up as well and placed it in his hair. “I-I know, berry..” He just whispered in return as Armin began wailing and crying louder and louder. 

“I needed you, Jean! I needed you so bad! I was alone... so alone... I just wanted you to be there for me! I just needed your hugs... Why did you do that?! Why didn’t we look for an other way?!” The blond cried, his tears soaking Jean’s already wet clothes and the blood that was staining his clothes now got on his face in return. 

“...The o-only way...” Jean murmured softly, his fingers cradling Armin’s hair gently. A feeling Armin missed for thirteen long years. Maybe he’d manage without Jean, but that feeling was something he never could get from anyone else. Jean had his own way of holding him. 

Unfortunately for the blond, his hand eventually stopped moving and, with his last breath, Jean whispered a last, weak, quiet, frail, broken ‘I love you’. 

“No!!” Armin cried out at the tops of his lungs and quickly held onto the hand on his head that dared to fall and kept it pressed in his hair. “Don’t leave me! I beg you, don’t leave me again! Jean,  _ please _ ! Wake up! I-I love you, please wake up! There are other ways to deal with this!” He screamed in agony, all the frustration and pain that built up inside him over these years finally making their way out. 

“Jean!!”

The blond cried his heart out while he used Jean’s limp hand to pet himself. It was no use, no matter how hard he tried to, Jean just wouldn’t come back. He was dead. This was the end. There was absolutely nothing Armin could do to change that. No matter how many times he called his name, or how many times he begged him to open his eyes, Jean just wouldn’t move and his body began getting so cold. Probably the poison from the bite. 

Armin finally found the courage to pull away and faced his former boyfriend shakingly. Jean looked so peaceful too... The view was mercilessly shredding his heart into a thousand pieces. His lips were quivering as he leaned closer to Jean’s face and pressed a trembling kiss onto his forehead, then pulled back and placed a second one on his cold, dead lips. He remembered how soft they used to be. 

“I love y-you so much...” Armin softly hushed one last time and caressed Jean’s face with one hand which was sticky from the amount of blood on it. “I-I always will...” 

It took Armin quite a while until he felt ready to finally pull away from Jean’s body and placed both of Jean’s hands on his stomach. He glanced up at his face and swallowed the lump in his throat before he turned away from him to face his daughter instead who was still passed out. He glanced down at her sadly and leaned down to press a kiss on her head as well. 

“...Let’s go home, princess.” He muttered tiredly, not even bothering about his tear streaked face. That was his last worry now. He hated himself for having to leave Jean back like that but it wasn’t like he could just carry two people the whole way back home. He’d come back to get Jean, no question. It was the least he could do for him. 

The blond glanced up at the sky, staring at the beautifully bright moon for a good moment. It was such a beautiful night. A clear sky, a luminous moon, pretty, little specks of stars here and there. A truly beautiful night, in contrast to what just happened. 

Just when Armin was about to lift his daughter into his arms, he suddenly was grabbed and thrown against a tree with an immense strength. He groaned as he hit the ground next and rubbed his aching back, glancing up to see what was going on. Out of the blue, there were about a dozen people standing around him with a not so happy expression. 

There was one person who didn’t form a circle with the others, which Armin supposed was responsible for the group. Their leader? He was pretty short compared to the others with a very dark, gloomy expression hovering on his face and the whole aura around him. His hair was pitch black and his eyes a piercing red that glew just as bright, if not brighter, as the moon. 

“Who do we’ve got here?” The man questioned, taking a few steps closer to Armin as the blond forced himself up on his feet and looked around himself frantically. 

“Who are you? What do you want?” Armin inquired and furrowed his brows. He tensed when that man stood behind him and placed his cold fingers around Armin’s neck, as if wanting to strangle him, but not exerting any pressure- yet. He tensed instantly. 

“Who we are is not important for you. You’re not going to live very long and I don’t want to waste my time with scum like you.” His nails scratched at a random spot on Armin’s neck, drawing blood which the man licked off his finger afterwards. “Although, I have to admit, you don’t taste as bad as you look.”

Armin tensed even more and gritted his teeth together to avoid making too much noise. He didn’t want to show how intimidated he was by that big number of- vampires, apparently. They were way too many to even try to put up a fight and Armin was worn out anyway. He couldn’t even beat a fly in his current state. But he still didn’t want to appear weak. 

“Get me the girl over here.” The man ordered. 

“Don’t touch her!” The blond snapped and barely took a step forward before he was already pushed down to his knees by two people from behind, his arms twisted back. Moving them in any direction was so unbelievably painful but he couldn’t help but try to get free somehow. 

A random man dragged Ariadne’s body over and dropped her right in front of that man. He crouched down and grabbed her face in his hand, moving her around as if taking a closer look at her face. 

“That’s her. She smells like dog shit and looks like that bastard and her mother.” He examined. “What a waste of an excellent vampire.”

Armin just began shouting again, “Don’t touch her! If you touch her, I’ll-“

“You’ll what? Do you really think you’re in the position to threaten me? Or even  _ fight _ me?”

The crowd began snickering and some of them were whispering to each other. What? Armin couldn’t understand. He didn’t care to begin with- his eyes were fixated on his daughter and that man. 

“Hnng..” The girl groaned and slowly pushed herself up on her elbows, looking around confusedly. “D-dad? What’s going on?” She asked, looking scared and frightened once she saw their position. 

“It’s alright, princess. Don’t worry.” He assured her, wiggling his arms around, “I’m right here, don’t be scared.”

“Correction: be scared.” The man intervened, staring between the two before giving another man a look and walking away from Ariadne- which Armin definitely was glad about. 

A taller man walked over instead and knelt down right beside Ariadne. She tried to scoot away but he grabbed her arms and pinned them down to the ground. “Heh. Yer quite pretty. The brat sure wassa pretty gal. Yer gonna get prettier soon, just like yer momma.” He forced himself on top of her legs, keeping her arms pressed onto the ground. 

“D-dad! Help!” The girl cried while trying to kick that man or free her hands but it was no use. That man was much taller and stronger than her. 

“Ariadne!” He shouted and, this time more roughly, attempted to free his arms from the men’s grip. 

The tall man was laughing at the way Ariadne struggled and scooted closer so he could lean down and smell her neck. “Mhh... That gal smells good.” He chuckled deeply and licked over her neck, making the girl cry. 

“Oi. Kenny. Just get over with it already, pervert. We’ve got other things to do.” The first man spoke again and folded his arms over his chest. 

“Hey! Let go of her! Don’t touch her!!” Armin shouted angrily, to no avail. “Do whatever you want to me, but leave her alone!”

“D-dad!! Dad, help me!” Ariadne sobbed before a high pitched scream filled every inch of the forest and Armin’s face drained of all color. The sound of bushes rattling and rustling and birds fluttering in the distance soon followed. 

His daughter’s lips were agape, terror seizing her face. Her big eyes were staring at Armin’s while he had to watch that man pushing his teeth into his daughter’s skin and sucking out her blood. He had a smug expression on his face, some blood dripping over Ariadne’s neck and down his chin. 

“No!! You bastard! Let go of her! Leave her alone! I’m gonna ki-!” Armin screamed loudly and now tried to fight the two men holding him but he was easily pushed down into the grass and was forced to watch what was happening to the girl he raised for thirteen years. His daughter. 

Her skin began getting paler with each second that ticked by. There was absolutely nothing Armin could do against the immense strength he was pushed down with. All he could do was watch how this man was literally sucking the life out of his daughter. 

He continued screaming, continued struggling and fighting to get free, and just a few moments later, the man finally pulled back from the girl with a satisfied growl and stood up. 

“See? Told‘cha. Ya look prettier now.” The man spoke, wiping his lips with his sleeve as he stepped away from the paralyzed, unmoving body that once was Ariadne. 

Her eyes were still the size of saucers and her lips parted, and Armin had to look away to not have to see her expression any longer. How could he ever get some sleep again? He couldn’t. This was too cruel- she was still just a child. How could these people do something so horrible?

“Someone carry her, we’re taking her with us.” The raven said, unaffected by the whole act. 

Armin snarled and looked up to give this man a nasty look. “You... I’m gonna kill you! I’ll kill you! How dare you!” 

“Hah?” The raven turned over to face the blond and crouched down to be at his level. “What was that? You want to kill me? How sweet. You’re gonna end just like her, don’t you worry. Oh, and your friend over there wasn’t much luckier, was he? She bit him. Now they’re both dead. How unfortunate.” There was no hint of regret in the raven’s voice as he pointed with his thumb over his shoulder to where Jean laid. 

“Let’s call the facts: You couldn’t even beat an egg. But I would’ve loved to see you struggle. Guess we won’t see each other anytime soon again. What a pity.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm. The man stared at the blond for some longer before getting up and out of Armin’s sight. 

Armin frowned deeply and jerked up as if trying to get free again but, this time, was held down firmly. He could feel the two people holding him down biting into each side of his neck, leaving Armin with wide eyes and parted lips to gasp. 

It hurt. It hurt so bad. And when they began sucking, the blond already began feeling dizzy after just a few seconds. They were drinking his blood so fast and Armin barely realized what was happening around him anymore. He didn’t even have the strength to scream. 

All he could see was someone walking over to where Ariadne was laying with something like a cord in their hand. He wrapped and tied it around her wrists before lifting her and throwing her over his shoulder. The raven walked over to the two but Armin couldn’t see what he was doing. 

Only when he came back, Armin’s gaze slowly moved up to him again as he held a now detached hand by a finger and swung it around a little. 

“What did you say her name was?” Armin could hear him ask while his eyelids became heavier and heavier and he started being less focused on his surroundings. Everything was so blurry and he felt so dizzy. All he wanted to do now was sleep. 

Why was he in a forest again?

“Oh, right.” The man dropped the hand close to Armin and answered his question himself. “Ariadne.”

Armin’s eyes finally fell shut, his body slumped against the ground and a chopped breath passed his lips. 

There was shouting. 

Then everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback in any way is very much appreciated, I’d love to know what I can do better and how to improve!
> 
> Thanks so much for everyone who actually made it this far! <33
> 
> [My Tumblr](%E2%80%9Dwww.mimirexx.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)
> 
> (Also I’m not entirely sure whether to write a second part or not- I’ve definitely got an idea but I decided to let it rest for now and see if I’ll do it one day. As for now, it’s just this oneshot.)


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